I Swear This Time I Mean It
by toloveher
Summary: AU. Ashley knows she'll always end up with Spencer, but she's not sure if Spencer knows it anymore.
1. Chapter 1

Spencer Carlin.

Nicole Chambers.

Ashley Davies.

Summer Hilton.

Anna Molly Lostridge.

Kyla Davies.

Each girl had a story, and everyone knew each one in perfect detail and examination.

**Spencer;**

The ultimate good girl. The all American, boy crazy pom-pom bumping cheerleader that never failed to give her parents straight A's, a fine reputation, and a respectable daughter. Her mom was a big shot surgeon that worked late at night for whatever reasons. Her dad was a popular architect, whom always hid in his den, but refused to go on any trips. He needed to be with his family. Her brother, Glen decided to join the army right after high school, since he had nothing else to do with his life. She was perfect in all eyes; extremely polite, loving, caring, and just genuinely good. Her heart was pure. But her heart wasn't pure for only boys, and that's where her faults settled in.

**Nicole;**

The partier. She hated her father for hating her, and showed it every second he was watching. She adored her mother though- even though her mother let her husband keep her away from her daughter. She spent her father's money recklessly, and destroyed everything she bought. She didn't care, and Mr. Chambers didn't either. He was the big time record label owner- not even mentioning the fact he was a big hot rock star back in his day. She was just a girl, his daughter that just happened to be gay. He didn't understand that, so she stopped forcing it on him. She was known for her occasional drug use, but mostly for being Ashley Davies' best friend. And that's what she was proud of.

**Ashley;**

The badass. Everyone knew Ashley, and Ashley knew everyone that mattered. People knew not to fuck with her; she was a fucking Davies' kid. The middle child of her other 5 siblings; Cash, Allison, Kyla, Ambrose, and Dawn. Aiden came later, as much as Ashley hated it. She wished he never showed up at all. The children of the infamous Raife and Christine Davies. The Davies' owned numerous companies-starting from restraunts to production companies. Raife was the famous one though, being the lead singer of Purple Venom alongside Jack Chambers. Ashley was just as famous though, known for her constant partying and drug use. She was put in the tabloids repeatedly- starting from her stumbling out of a club with a half-naked blonde on her arm, to her brief stay in jail. She was Ashley fucking Davies. And no one messed with her.

**Summer;**

The popular girl. She hadn't asked to be popular, she just had always been. Unlike most popular girls though- Summer didn't fit into that whole dumb preppy girl stereotype. She was genuinely sweet, and she really did care about how people's days were going. She was head of student government, there for she knew everyone, and she knew how to please everyone. She was terribly beautiful; tall lanky brunette with emerald eyes. She dressed like a model- making all the boys drool. Too bad for them though, she was more interested in making the girls drool. Even though she had that closet all to herself.

**Anna Molly;**

The teenage mom. Turns out, if you get pregnant at 15, that's what you'll be known for. She had it lucky though- her reputation was the only hard thing she had to handle. Her parents still supported her, and continued to help raise her baby. The douche bag of a father was still around- even though she took care of Sophia most of the time. She still had her tiny social life; all her friends adored Sophia. If only she knew.

**Kyla;**

Another Davies' kid. The pretty looking rich girl, to be exact. Through her weird rich looking persona, she wasn't like that. She was nice, and loved helping people (to many people's surprise). Known for being Ashley's little sister, no one fucked with her either; most people cherished their lives. Ever so, she **loved** to party, taking after her last name. She stopped at alcohol though; she knew Ashley would kill her if she even thought of going further. She wasn't only known for being Ashley's little sister though- she was known as Kyla. She held up her own. And many respected her for it. As she thought.

Everyone's connected. Everyone's sleeping with somebody.


	2. Chapter 2

Spencer sighed as she looked around the half empty room. Her eyes were dark and heavy, showing her lack of sleep. She knew coming out so early was a bad idea (no pun intended). Seriously, who would be at Soy at 6:45AM? Only those coffee addicted workaholics, Spencer thought. Unfortunately, Spencer didn't know any coffee addicted workaholics. _Maybe I should invest in that idea, though._

"I knew I could count on Spencer Carlin to be up before noon on a Saturday," Nicole smiled at her friend and took a seat across from her. Her short brown hair was pulled into a tiny ponytail today- with her side bangs hanging across the left side of her defined face. Her eyes looked happy. "What're you doing here so early?"

Spencer thought over the answer. She didn't really know. She just knew she didn't want to be at home, but she wanted to be alone. But once she got to Soy, she got lonely. Luckily for her, she had Nicole now. She just shrugged. "Just felt like it, I suppose. What're you doing here?"

"I have to pick up Sarah," Nicole played with the cardboard sleeve of her coffee cup. She was nervous, but she didn't want Spencer to know it. Hell, she didn't want herself to know it. She was going to go pick up her ex from the airport. That couldn't be awkward, right? Sarah sure hoped not.

"Geez," Spencer just smiled. She was happy that the (now broken up) couple were still good with each other enough for Nicole to pick her ex up from the airport. Nicole and Sarah were made for each other- they just didn't know it yet. "Have you two gotten back together yet?"

"No," Nicole frowned. She didn't like that whole_ yet _part. Was Spencer implying something? Nicole frowned harder. "I don't know this time, Spencer."

"Ha," Spencer sat up. This was just getting ridiculous. It was so obvious- to her and to the entire world, that Nicole and Sarah loved each other more than anything else in the world. Why they kept going on this rollercoaster was a mystery to Spencer. She looked into her friend's green eyes, "You two are made for each other."

"I'm not sure if I still believe that," Nicole took a sip from her coffee as Spencer's heart broke at her words. "And I'm not sure if she still does either."

Spencer shrugged. If Nicole and Sarah's love didn't survive, she'd forever give up on love. It was a vow she took when she met the love struck couple. But then again, she wasn't one to talk.

"You'll know when you see her," Spencer nodded. She believed her own words. It always worked with Ashley. If it didn't with Nicole, like she said before- She'd give up on love.

Nicole sighed. She knew Spencer would say something like that, and she knew that she would still end up with Sarah in the long run. She loved Sarah, and she'd do anything to keep the girl- but she just couldn't seem to remember that fact about herself (much to Sarah's despair).

"Do you want to come, maybe?" Nicole scratched her head nervously. "Make it less awkward for us, you know. It'll be nice, Spencer. We're going to Ashley's tonight and everything. You can see her and try to talk to her and stuff."

Spencer bit her lip. Seeing Ashley wasn't a good idea. Nicole knew it too, but she couldn't just not try. Just like how Spencer loved her and Sarah together, she loved Ashley and Spencer together. She forgave Spencer. She just wished Ashley would, and fast. Everyone could see the girl was hurting.

"That's not a good idea, Nicole," Spencer sighed and swirled her straw around her cup. She wanted to see Ashley, to get her to talk to her for once. But she knew how things would end up. And she didn't know if she could handle that again. "But I'll go with you to pick up Sarah, if you want."

Nicole sighed. It meant more to her if Spencer went to Ashley's house. But she smiled instead, to show she was grateful for Spencer. "Let's go, Blondie."

--

"This is fucking ridiculous!" Kyla Davies screamed at her father's assistant, whom just rolled his tired eyes. He stood across from her, a manila folder in hand, dressed in an ugly unnecessary suit. He was officially sick of his boss' children. Kyla wrapped her arms across her chest-royally pissed off. There was no way she was going to spend Christmas with her family. She had already made other plans. "You go back to New York and tell my father I'm not going."

"Yes, you are Kyla. And your sister Ashley is too." Dan, the assistant ran a hand though his ugly brown hair. Kyla grimaced. He desperately needed a haircut.

"Good luck with that, Buddy," Kyla responded. She was starting to get scared, as much as she hated to admit it. The last Christmas in New York hadn't ended well. And she knew what happened to Ashley when she didn't show up. As much as it hurt both of them, they'd **have** to go, no matter what. And that pissed Kyla off even more. "In my defense, I was going to spend new years with Ashley, so technically, I'm going to be spending the holidays with family no matter where I was."

"I know you remember what happened the last time Ashley didn't show up, don't you?" Dan grinned. He knew the memory haunted Kyla. Unlike him and her father, she had a heart. She hated seeing her sister in pain more than anything. "You wouldn't want that to happen to _you_, would you?"

"Fuck you, Daniel," Kyla shook her head, wondering why she was wasting her time on the piece of shit in front of her. She looked up at the grinning man. "Get the fuck out of my house."

Ignoring the fact that the house was his boss', he gathered his things. "Here are the plane tickets. December 22nd at 5:30AM."

Kyla rubbed her temples, feeling a headache coming on. She couldn't even imagine having to tell Ashley. At least Ashley was there last year when Dan told them. This year she had to tell her herself. She hated being the messenger.

Dan sent her one final smirk before exiting. He knew that they'd show up, there for he would get paid.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Johnny, Kyla's latest boyfriend came up and wrapped his arms around Kyla. He pushed Kyla's head into his chest, concerned and wanting to hold his girlfriend tighter.

"I have to spend the holidays with the family," Kyla ran her hands down Johnny's long sides. "I'm sorry our plans are ruined."

Johnny frowned. He planned for him and Kyla to go to Washington; where Kyla had always wanted to go during the winter time for some strange reason. His parents owned a cabin out there, so he bought 2 plane tickets and surprised her on their 3 month anniversary.

"It's okay, babe." Johnny pulled her closer. "Some other time."

Kyla nodded, still disappointed. She was really looking forward to the trip. He even bought the tickets and everything!

"I'll make it up to you, I promise."

"I'll hold on to you for that."

--

Nicole was nervous. So nervous she was jumping-literally jumping around in circles looking like an insane kangaroo bunny creature. Spencer was extremely entertained, not bothering to tell Nicole that she looked absolutely ridiculous, and that Sarah was walking toward them, chuckling at her ex girlfriend.

"You were human when I left you," Sarah grinned at Nicole. She didn't find the whole picking up thing a big deal. It was just her Nicole, and she couldn't remember a time where she was ever uncomfortable around her. Nicole just went into shock. Sarah was back and in front of her; _her_ Sarah. _Well she's not mine anymore_ Nicole cursed.

Sarah hugged Spencer first, noticing how Nicole's face went from shocked to mad in 3 seconds. _She's talking to herself in her head again.._

"You look great," Spencer complimented, giving Sarah a once over. She did look good- even with her weird vintage style. Today though, she was dressed casual. Black leggings, white v neck and a black and white stripped cardigan. She had her glasses on; giving her the librarian look. She was incredibly tiny with long black hair and crocked bangs- she looked like a little girl from the back. The front too, actually- most people had to look down to see her. Nicole towed over her at 5'7.

"Thank you," Sarah smiled and turned to her ex, whom still had her mad face on. She had been arguing with herself during the whole interaction. "Do I get a hug or what?"

And the ice was broken.

Nicole smiled, now knowing things were going to be okay. She pulled Sarah into her, slightly bending her knees so she could press her face against Sarah's neck. She knew she was risking it. But she had too- she needed to know if Sarah still wanted her.

"I missed you," Sarah wrapped her arms around her ex girlfriend's neck; now knowing that they weren't going to be ex's for long. They were together now- face to face, why would they waste their time not being together? This was exactly what they needed.

"I missed you so much more Sarah," Nicole murmured into Sarah's neck. It was true too, and even Sarah knew it.

Spencer just rolled her eyes- happy and jealous of her friends. These were the times when she missed Ashley the most.

--

Not surprising to anyone, Spencer was obviously left out through the entire car ride to Ashley's place. Spencer didn't mind though, She was driving and she needed time to thing. Plus, she was happy for her friends. It was only a matter of time before they got back together.

Now it was her turn to be nervous. It was her time to see her former love- the former love that she still loved. In her opinion though, Nicole had it easy; Sarah could never hate her. Ashley was different- and she definitely wasn't Sarah.

Nicole rolled her eyes at Spencer. They had gone around the same block 5 times. She could tell that Spencer was thinking about Ashley. She had _the look_. The look that she got every time that she thought about her ex. It made her sad though- before the breakup, the look was so happy and in awe, like Spencer was dreaming. Now, the look seemed like total sadness and misery.

Nicole knew how Spencer thought though. Spencer had spilled every thought to Nicole, Nicole being Ashley's best friend. Spencer always compared her and Ashley's love to her and Sarah's. Always stating that it was different because in her situation, Ashley isn't Sarah. Nicole would always laugh; Spencer could never figure out that Ashley was Spencer's Sarah. And there for, (in Spencer's and the worlds' point of view) they would always end up together.

But then again, Spencer couldn't figure that out.

"Spence, we've been around the same block 6, now 7 times now." Nicole smiled. She swiveled the car into Ashley's driveway and unbuckled her seatbelt. "She's not going to not let you in, you know. Ashley wouldn't leave you out in the cold."

Nicole got out of the car, and helped Sarah get out (her feet didn't touch the ground from the car). She forced Spencer out and pushed them toward Ashley's doorstep.

Spencer's mind and stomach were in overdrive by now. She hadn't seen Ashley in weeks, and now she was just showing up at her doorstep? How in the hell was that supposed to look? To make matters worse, she knew that Ashley knew that she knew she was upset with her. She closed her eyes as Nicole rang the doorbell.

"Chill, Spence. Don't worry," Nicole sent a reassuring smile Spencer's way. She truly felt bad for the girl. But she knew Spencer deserved it. "She-"

The door opened, cutting Nicole off. There stood Ashley Davies, in all her Ashley Davies glory.

Her eyes were more tired than usual, noticed even behind her black brimmed glasses that hung loosely on her nose. Her hair was tied into a messy ponytail, with her bangs spread perfectly across her face. She was casual; wearing black lounge pants with a sleeveless Free City shirt.

Her eyes were hard as she turned toward Nicole.

"And you brought _her_?"

_Uh oh._


	3. Chapter 3

Nicole's face grew long._ Well, that can't be good. _It was too late for her to start fake crying; only to get her best friend to feel sorry for her and forget that she brought her ex along with the act._ Ha, Spencer's going to be pissed, man._

Spencer completely deadpanned. It was her own fault really; she knew that Ashley was upset (so did Nicole) but she still showed up at her doorstep anyway. How could she expect Ashley to welcome her with open arms? She glared at Nicole- figuring that that was the only satisfying thing she could do. Nicole just avoided Spencer's not-so-kind eyes.

"Give me a hug, Edmund." Ashley smiled and opened her arms for Sarah- who brightened up at the fact Spencer wouldn't be dying tonight- to step into. Nicole and Spencer just exchanged confused (and relieved) glances, thinking Ashley was pissed off her mind.

"Oh! You meant her..." Nicole made a face, being the last one to understand. As happy as she was over the words being directed to Sarah and not Spencer- Ashley wasn't even acknowledging the fact that Spencer was there. She was just completely ignoring the blonde's presence. _It'd be better if she just yelled at her or something…_

"It's a pleasure to see you again, Davies." Sarah winked as she stepped out of the friendly hug. She missed the brunette- not as much as she missed Nicole- but she really missed her. Mostly, she missed her weird Davies' charm; the charm that even worked on her a few times.

Ashley just smiled at the tiny girl and turned to Nicole, who had a weird face on. "I'm working."

"I bet Anna's inside." Nicole smirked. Anna Molly pretty much lived with Ashley. She wouldn't have been surprised if she found out Anna had her own room. She leaned against Ashley's door frame.

"That doesn't change the fact that I'm working," Ashley countered. Anna Molly was different- She minded her own business. Plus, it didn't look professional having your friends over while you're taking pictures of a supermodel. The fact that she was avoiding Spencer was just an addition. In Ashley's mind, there were many reasons not to let them in.

"Oh, I know you so well, Davies," Nicole rolled off the door frame. "We won't disturb, I promise." She pushed past her best friend and walked into the mini mansion- straight to the bar probably (it was obviously going to be a long night). She pulled Spencer in with her, whom desperately tried to touch Ashley in any way she could- knowing the effect it had on the brunette.

Ashley quickly moved away though- also knowing the effect the blonde had over her. She wasn't ready to feel that again. She was going to avoid Spencer at all costs tonight.

"Sorry Ash," Sarah apologized. Even though it was Nicole's idea, she felt sorry for Ashley. Having your ex randomly show up at your front door could be bombarding. Especially with all the feelings left behind.

Ashley shook her head, not finding a reason for her to apologize. Nicole was her best friend- she knew Nicole better than anyone, of course Nicole would do this. Nicole loved "Spashley." No matter how complicated their history may be.

"Don't worry about it," Ashley forced a small smile. Sarah could tell she was tired. "It was bound to happen sooner or later."

"So when can I expect the big Spencer and Ashley reunion?" Sarah asked- half joking half serious. She too- loved the couple together. And just like her and Nicole; they were bound to be together sooner or later.

"Not anytime soon," Ashley answered honestly. She wasn't ready for Spencer Carlin yet. Spencer Carlin wasn't in her yearly plan anymore- her 5 year plan, maybe- but not this year. Not anymore. "How about you and Sarah?"

Sarah rolled her eyes, noticing Ashley's apathy. She knew that she and Sarah would probably get back together in 2 days- a week tops.

"You two need to get your shit together," Sarah rolled off the wall. "You're wasting your time hating her, Ashley. She loves you, and this time, she knows it. But she's not going to wait forever."

Ashley raised her stubborn eyebrows, considering Sarah and Nicole's history. She was over it already; Over having the same conversation with the same people, just different times. She even had this conversation with Sophia, and she's two years old.

"You're one to talk," Ashley didn't mean for it to sound harsh. More like a fact, even. "But I'm working. We'll talk later."

Ashley's house was literally a mini mansion. It was 2 stories- with hard wood floor, plain white walls, various art pieces, and random couches- it was magnificent. It was big, but it wasn't _too_ big.

The bottom floor looked like big empty space, mostly. It was two bedrooms, but those were in the back with a bathroom for each. There was a bar in the corner, with the kitchen right next to it. The bar had more alcohol than a club; containing liquor not even from the U.S.

The walls were plain white and there were lazy boys and black leather couches everywhere. There was an odd silver spiral staircase hanging from the middle of the room. The only messy area was the entertainment center- where Ashley had every game you could think of. The house was very empty- very Ashley.

Nicole helped herself to the bar- making her a tall glass of straight vodka. She grabbed herself a coke too- she liked the feeling of shooters; it made her feel young. She got Sarah a sprite (her favorite), and kept Spencer by her side just in case Ashley felt like killing her.

Spencer noticed a new addiction to the main lounge; 2 long party tables with an array of cameras set on top. There was everything- starting off with disposables to director looking video cameras. It was like a camera store had been dumped on those two tables.

Ashley took a long sip of her beer as she walked back into her workroom. She needed another beer, pronto.

"Some people are probably going to come in. Ignore them, Okay?" Ashley straddled the blonde laying on the floor-clad in only a white button down and no pants. She pressed the camera against her face and smirked as the model before her grinned at her.

"Kinky," Sammy Lodgings (the model) rolled her blue eyes. "Nicole?"

Ashley just nodded. Sammy and Nicole had grown up together- Heck, Nicole was the reason Sammy and Ashley met, hence the photo shoot's existence. She continued to take pictures of the model, quickly so she could send her out.

"Will I be finally be meeting _the_ Spencer Carlin?" Sammy smiled, teasing Ashley. Ashley (and Nicole, secretly, that is) had told her about Spencer; leaving out all the dirty and worthy details. And as much as she hated Spencer for what she did to her friend, she was pretty excited to meet the other blonde. "I want to know what's so good about her."

Ashley just looked down. She didn't know what to say or even if she could say anything. She definitely knew what was so good about Spencer, but she wasn't ready to admit it. But it also seemed like Ashley was never ready to admit anything anymore.

"And of course you're on top of a half naked blonde when we arrive," Nicole strutted in, smirking at her best friend. Typical Ashley. She knew it wasn't serious though- she knew Sammy was as straight as a Sarah Palin. "Hey Sammy."

"Hey Nicole," Sammy leaned back as Ashley got off her. She proceeded to put on her jeans.

"We're done," Ashley set her camera down. In one sense, she was relieved that Spencer wasn't there to see that, but in another, she wished her ex had seen it all- maybe even more "I'll call you later."

"Of course," Sammy saw herself out, disappointed that she hadn't met "the" Spencer.

"Where's Sarah?" Ashley started to clean her equipment- none of it was dirty though; they_ were_ cameras and all, but she needed to keep busy.

"Don't ignore Spencer, Ashley," Nicole said sternly. She loved Ashley, she really did, but she could just be a jerk sometimes. "Please, not tonight. Sarah just came back; I want this to be fun for her, okay?"

Ashley sighed, but still managed to roll her eyes. Of course Nicole was going to use Sarah to give her an excuse to be nice to Spencer.

"I am completely aware that you are still upset with everything, but please. She missed you, okay? And you're going to break her heart if you reject her again. Just talk to her tonight. It doesn't have to be around Sarah and I or anything, just talk to her. She misses your voice, she told me." It was true, too. Nicole had known better than anyone how much Spencer missed Ashley. She listened to Spencer cry way too many times. But Ashley knew way more than what Nicole did. "For the party tomorrow night, I don't care. But just for tonight. Can you two just act like you two don't have a horrendous past? For Sarah."

Ashley stared at her. "Okay. I'll talk to her, but I'm not promising anything."

"That's all I'm asking for." Nicole smiled, quite proud of herself. She smiled as Sarah stepped into the room-without Spencer. "_Go fucking find her, Ashley. _Come here, Sarah. I need to talk to you."

Ashley rolled her eyes at Nicole. She whispered, "Asking for her back would be a wonderful greeting gift, you know."

"I think multiple orgasms will do the trick."

"Mhm, Yep, that'll do."

Aiden Dennison walked throughout the house, wondering why the fuck Kyla woke him up so early. _You can't just wake someone up and not fucking meet them when you're supposed to._

"Aiden," Kyla walked up to him. She had called him to meet her at Starbucks (she needed her coffee) and to be quite honest, she just wanted to get it over with. "I'm going to make this short and simple."

"I fucking hope so," Aiden rolled his eyes. He was already annoyed. What could be so important that they actually had to meet up? It was bad enough already living with her. "What did you need to tell me?"

"We have to go up to New York for Christmas," Kyla studied his reaction. She didn't know what to expect- they hadn't really spent a Christmas together yet.

Not a real one, that is. "Here's your plane ticket."

"Sweet," Aiden shoved the ticket into his pocket- rather looking forward to the Davies' family reunion. "I hope Ashley doesn't come again this year; that was fun."

Kyla stared disgusted at her asshole of a half brother. There was no way Ashley was going to be able to handle spending the holidays with him. "Get the fuck over yourself, dickwad."

Nicole- all of the sudden nervous- sat on one of Ashley's bean bag chairs. Could she really ask for Sarah back so soon? They had only been apart for a day. They had never had an awkward moment before- so what could she think if the mood became awkward? What if she would ruin Sarah's night?

"Don't be so tense," Sarah sat across from Nicole. Unlike her ex, she wasn't taking the breakup so seriously. She knew they were bound to get back together, and she was fueling on that. Nicole was all she wanted, and that's all she really needed to know. She just needed Nicole to know that too. "It's just me, Nicole. You can talk to me about anything, and I hope you know that."

"I want you back," Nicole blurted out. She couldn't help it. _It just came out like word vomit…_

Sarah smiled at her. Ah, how she missed her.

"What took you so long?" Sarah took Nicole's hands in hers. Nicole didn't need a yes, or even a no- she knew Sarah was hers again. Nicole cupped the smaller girl's face.

"Myself," Nicole kissed Sarah passionately, relieved to finally feel her lips on hers again. _Ah, I missed this._ She pulled back and set her forehead against her love's. "I missed you so much."

"You better have. But I missed you so much more, love."

Sarah smiled and kissed her again. "There's no chance in hell, babe."

Spencer sat tensely at the bar. She had already taken 3 shots, but she wasn't feeling anything. She just felt tenser- a feeling now familiar to her. She **needed** to talk to Ashley. Hell, her liver depended on it, but she couldn't approach her. She couldn't handle getting rejected again.

"I didn't know you like Jose," Ashley commented as she sat on a chair at the bar, startling Spencer in the process. Spencer didn't even see her coming. Spencer cleared her tingly throat.

"Well there are a lot of things you don't know about me," Spencer bit her lip. Ashley smirked._ I know everything about you, Spencer. Believe me._

"And what would those be?" Ashley avoided all eye contact with the blonde; she was afraid she'd want to kiss her. And knowing herself pretty well, she knew she would.

_Like how much I fucking miss you, you idiot._ "Never mind, you know everything."

Ashley sighed. Before hand, she predicted two ways this interaction would go; one of them being this way; the other one being with Spencer bawling her eyes out and begging for forgiveness. She predicted right.

"I'm trying to be nice, Spencer." Ashley finally made eye contact with Spencer, only to glare at her. Spencer almost forgot to stop her smile though; she finally got to see those eyes again. "It's not like I ripped your-"

"Don't do this to me, Ashley," Spencer stared at Ashley, now depressed. She knew she had no right to be, but that didn't change the fact that she was. She loved Ashley, and she wanted to give her heart back to her all over again, but this time, Ashley didn't want it. And she didn't know how she was going to accept that. "You know how I feel about you."

"And?" Ashley didn't see what she was doing wrong._ Fuck me man, I'm always in trouble._

"You come over here with your charm and you talk to me like nothing happened. Not even to mention the flirting, hah." Spencer sniffled. She suddenly liked it better when Ashley was ignoring her.

"I'm sorry my 'charm' is so offending," Ashley's eyes were cold again. This time, she knew she didn't do anything wrong. She was offended by Spencer's words, as much as she hated to admit it. She didn't bite Spencer's head off for her to come over. She came over on her own. It wasn't fair for Spencer to say that to her, was it? "But unlike you, Spencer, I don't play games with people."

"I never played games with you, Ashley," Spencer gripped the bar, afraid she would fall or breakdown. "You were **never** a game to me."

"I don't want to hear it Spencer. When you can somehow explain why you did that to me, then maybe I'll consider listening. But please; if you don't have anything to say, leave me alone." The tone of Ashley's voice broke Spencer's heart. She sounded so angry, and hateful- but at the same time, all Spencer could hear was how hurt she was.

"I've been trying to get you to listen to me-"

"Well you've got me listening to silence. You have no explanation for yourself, because people, they just don't do those kinds of things to people they love. At least I don't, and I'm not an expert. So when you have something other to say than 'I'm sorry' then you can talk. Until then, you can see yourself out."


	4. Chapter 4

"Rise n' shine, sweetheart," Sarah pulled Nicole's black curtains open, revealing the sun's rays through the newly open window. After leaving a Spencer-less get together, they moved back into Nicole's **empty** mansion. Having parents that hated you _did_ have its perks. Sarah smiled as Nicole groaned, burring her brunette head deeper into the ruffled pillows. She sat on the bed next to the girl.

"Vampires aren't allowed out in sunlight," Nicole muffled. It was way too early to be awake (in Nicole's opinion, of course). The sun told her that it was probably only 7:15AM; yep, way too early. "They either catch fire, or sparkle. Do you want me to burst into flames or sparkle?"

Sarah smiled. She knew all about Nicole's little vampire obsession; it was the reason why she had so many hickeys. Nicole-being a vampire- couldn't resist Sarah's neck. And Sarah wouldn't ever complain; it was pretty much a win-win. "You already sparkle to me."

"Mhm," Nicole rolled over to Nicole's flattery. Her hair was a mess of brunette waves, she was only clad in her black bra, and her minimal amount of eyeliner was smeared. She didn't really care though. Sarah would love her regardless of what she looked like. "I was supposed to make you breakfast in bed."

"I can go back to bed if you want."

"I like you better with me," Nicole wrapped her arm around Sarah's tiny thighs. "Excited for your party tonight?"

Sarah couldn't help but roll her brown eyes. She hated parties- clubs even more. How she ended up with a partier was beyond her. Heck, parties were the reason why they had broken up so many times. "I told you, Nic. I don't like parties."

"You'll like your party," Nicole moved up and wrapped her arms around the smaller girl's waist. Sarah loved Nicole attacking her neck just as much as Nicole loved attacking it- only contributing the fact that they were made for each other. Nicole moved her face slowly along Sarah's neck, grinning when she felt goose bumps ride along Sarah's thigh.

"I'm sure, Romeo," Sarah pushed her girlfriend away before things got out of hand. She knew if things went further, she wouldn't be able to control herself. "You better not get drunk tonight. We have school tomorrow, and I don't enjoy cleaning up our puke."

Nicole- as predicted- made a sour face. _Oh my god, that was one time!_ In all honesty that Nicole would ever admit, it was the time she knew she wanted Sarah to be her wife.

"Wait. 'We'?" Nicole sat up higher, so her face was just a few inches above Sarah's. "You're staying for the year?"

"Yes," Sarah smiled. "And I'll be attending King High School with you tomorrow."

Nicole brightened up, not only excited for what the night had to come, but also for what the year had to offer. She kissed Sarah; finding that she'd talk with her lips instead. Yes, it's official. Sarah is totally gonna be her wife.

--

Sophia Rose Chesterton sat in her stroller; sucking on her favorite sippy cup (the one her Aunt Ashley bought her) and watching the people pass her by. She had her favorite outfit on- despite the fact that there was no special occasion; that's what you get when you let Kyla Davies dress you. Her Aunt Ashley and mommy were behind her- with her mommy pushing the stroller ahead of her.

"You just threw her out?" Anna asked, appalled. Ashley would never do that; Especially to Spencer. "Like _threw_ her out?"

"Not _literally_," Ashley made a face. She would never literally throw Spencer out. Anna raised her eyebrows, reminding Ashley on why she didn't like to talk about the subject. In all actually; Anna was the only one she did like talking to about Spencer. She was the only one that never really judged her- the only one that wasn't on Spencer's side. "I just said some stuff."

"Sigh," Anna said, making Ashley's face even sourer. _She's supposed to sigh, not say sigh._ "Is she going to be at the party tonight?"

"Probably," Ashley shoved her hands into her pockets. "Are you?"

"Naw," Anna scratched her red headed head. Being a parent was a full time job. She was lucky she had time to take a walk with Ashley (Even though it didn't really count, since Sophia was there.)

"You should come."

"I totally would," Anna readjusted her aviators. Of course she would have, she missed Sarah like a bitch. "But I couldn't find a baby sitter."

"I could babysit for you," Ashley offered- to which Anna smiled at. It was one of the things that she admired about Ashley; how she'd give up an opportunity so she could take it… Even though she knew really why she was offering. "Sophia loves me."

"No, Ashley," Anna took her daughter out of the stroller and turned the toddler's head toward her Aunt Ashley. "Aunty Ashley has to go see Spencer, right Sophia?"

Ashley playfully shook her head no, while Sophia just burst into giggles.

--

Summer Hilton walked through the mall, surprisingly alone. Her brunette curls were tied into a loose ponytail, with her bangs gracefully falling across her tanned face. So far, she's turned about a dozen necks.

"Summer!" Nicole ran up to the other brunette, hugging her to prove how much she missed her. Summer- surprised to say the least- hugged her back even tighter. She didn't really get it, she saw Nicole a couple days ago. "I missed you so much!"

"I missed you too," Summer laughed. "So, you needed help?"

"Yes," Nicole bowed her head shamefully. "I need to buy Sarah a gift."

"Well, you called the right girl," Summer smiled. "Kay's jewelers here we come."

--

Sarah arrived at her own party alone. _Hah, how depressing._ She just rolled her eyes and walked into Ego.

"We're not even going to try and make it a surprise," Summer smiled and walked toward the small brunette. She opened her arms out for Sarah to walk into.

The room was in total party mode. It was packed (not surprising anyone) and the music was at its loudest. The back though, was reserved strictly for Sarah's party only. Summer lead Sarah toward the back, where everyone was waiting for her.

"Hey!" Spencer yelled over the music as she made her way over to Sarah, vodka in hand. Another night with Ashley? Of course she would be starting early. Sarah raised her eyebrows at the half drunk blonde. Her dark blue promish-looking dress looked really pretty on her. If she wasn't looking like such a hot mess right now..

"Hey Spencer," Sarah hugged her- her face being pressed against Spencer's boobs. She laughed and pulled away. "Do you know where Nicole is?"

Summer shook her head no rapidly- intent on keeping her friend's secret, a secret. "Nooo, Haven't seen her yet."

"Damn," Sarah sighed. She was really looking forward to spending the night with her love. She straightened her black lace skirt. With the skirt, she matched it with a 3 sizes to big white v neck; making the small girl look even more like a little girl. Especially with her black rimmed glasses and matching black suspenders. Her straight black hair was pulled up, with the ends of her hair spiked up.

"Hello Sarah," Ashley walked into the reserved area. No one even bothered asking her for her information; she was Ashley fucking Davies. She was somewhat dressed up for the occasion- mainly because Nicole yelled at her about it. She wore a light blue button down, framing her body so you could almost see the outline of her abs. She left the first couple buttons undone- giving a generous amount of cleavage. With that, she wore black skinny jeans with Black slip ons. She leaned down and kissed the girl's cheek.

"Hello Davies," Sarah greeted the girl- surprised at her outfit. She wasn't expecting people to be dressed up. But then again, Ashley often dressed that way. "You know where Sarah is?"

Ashley shook her head. She could keep a secret without a problem.

"I don't get a hug now?" Summer raised an eyebrow at Ashley teasingly. She knew Ashley wouldn't be offended. That was their relationship; a flirty and friendly relationship.

"Ah Summer, I've missed you," Ashley fake smiled and wrapped her arms around Summer's neck, whom wrapped her own arms around her Ashley's waist. She squeezed her closer to her playfully. She pulled back after a few minutes of playful rocking.

Spencer, from afar, cursed Summer. She always hated the girl, but she never knew why (she always knew, she just never had the guts to admit that she was jealous of her). The real reason (that Spencer refused to admit) was because that Ashley loved Summer, and showed it. They were always playfully flirting, and they even make out on occasion. Summer had Ashley in a way she didn't anymore; and she hated her for it.

"Excuse me ladies. I have to go now," Ashley smiled and ran away, in search for her best friend.

--

"I look good right?" Nicole nervously fumbled with the ends of her clothes. There she stood in the bathroom, with Ashley standing in front of her with her eyebrow raised and elbow against the wall. She stood clad in black skinny jeans (she refused to wear slacks at a club), with a tuxedo top. She wore a tight white button down, with a black vest over it. The shoes however, remained Converse.

Ashley nodded her head apathetically. She knew Nicole could come out butt naked and Sarah would still think she looked beautiful. In fact, she'd probably like it better that way. "You look beautiful."

Nicole rolled her eyes and looked at herself in the mirror again. She adjusted her hair again, pushing her now straightened brunette bangs to the left side of her face.

"Come on, bitch," Ashley stood behind her best friend and put her hands on her shoulders. She massaged them a bit, hoping it would comfort her. "She misses you already. Just go. It'll be fine. It's just Sarah, Nicole."

Nicole smiled. _It's just Sarah._

Nicole, with Ashley in tow, walked out of the bathroom, in search of her girlfriend. She checked her back pocket once again, needed the reassurance that it was still there. She smiled once she saw her girlfriend.

"Baby," Sarah smiled when she saw her. She knew Nicole was going to do something like this, she loved her for it. She laughed as she checked her girlfriend out, suddenly liking the idea of parties. She walked toward Nicole, got on her tiptoes and kissed her, smiling as her friends around her started clapping. _Ah, so so lame._

Nicole pulled away and made everyone go back to their own worlds, so she and Sarah could fall into their own. She pulled the velvet case from her back pocket and opened it for Sarah to see. She smiled at her girlfriend's face.

"Nic.." Sarah looked up into her girlfriend eyes. It was the necklace she told her about 4 years ago, when they first met; the necklace that had been out of stock for years now. She had seen it in a 1960 horror movie, and told Nicole about how much she loved it right then. Nicole had gotten it for her, but she couldn't even imagine how. She had searched everywhere for the necklace. "You didn't."

"You deserve it." She secured the necklace onto her girlfriend's neck. "Let's go have some fun, babe."

--

In the corner, Kyla sat sipping her vodka cranberry, with Johnny sitting by her side. She was smiling at him, and genuinely having a wonderful time.

Spencer sat at the bar, lining up the shots she was about to take.

Ashley sat in the booth with Summer, trying to focus on the brunette in front of her, rather than worrying helplessly about the blonde drinking her sorrows at the bar. It took everything in her not to slap the shot out of Spencer's hand.

In a corner of the dance floor, Nicole and Sarah swayed, slow dancing to Flo Rida's Low.

All n' all, Sarah had a good night.


	5. Chapter 5

_AN: Thank you for all the reviews; I really do appreciate all of them. This chapter is short, and kind of boring in my opinion, and maybe a bit confusing. I live in Hawaii, and I think that our school system is a bit different from anywhere else. So, I'm sorry if the chapter gets confusing, because I just based the school scenes on my school's layout. Oh, and this chapter has a bit of religion in it, so I again, apologize if it's offensive to anyone. _

--

Spencer believed it, and you probably would too if you were her. Her mother didn't- only believing primarily in the Lord's Justifications; clearly living up to the fact that she was in fact, 'God's vessel.'

Sure, Spencer believed in God- of course she did. She never got too deep into it though; always afraid of what the big man would do to her. She had seen what it had done to her mother, and she wanted to part of it. She knew she was God's child, but why would God deny her of her own happiness? How could being happy be a sin? How could the love of her life be an abomination? It just didn't make sense to her, but she didn't know if she wanted to understand any of it. She knew that she was God's child, but she wasn't going to let that stop her from anything.

Until she did.

Girls tend to follow their hearts; Spencer wasn't an ordinary girl.

--

Kyla flopped down on one of Ashley's bean bag chairs. She had just been done listening to Ashley rant about how an education was so important now days and how she needs to be in school. She didn't care much though- Ashley wasn't one to talk.

"Kyla, are you even listening?" Ashley asked tiredly. She had only just got home- home to her baby sister raiding her fridge. She had spent the night at Summer's, talking (fully clothed) and catching up on the week they hadn't been with each other.

"You dropped out and you turned out fine," Kyla leaned back into the chair and checked her email on her blackberry. "You're probably going to be making more money than dad in the next couple years."

Ashley made an awkward face. She knew it was probably true, considering that she just had to go to a club and she'd get money. But on the other hand, she had more than 2 official jobs. But again, her father was so rich that she didn't even know how much he was worth. She didn't care much either though.

"Exactly," Kyla sat up. _Fuck it._ "We have to go up to New York for Christmas, Ash."

She waited for her sister's reaction- not exactly knowing what to expect. A part of her expected her to lash out at her, and probably down a bottle of vodka; the other part of her figured Ashley wouldn't care. She hoped for the last one.

"Oh," Ashley's chest fell- now even more exhausted. She knew better than to take her frustration out on Kyla- whom would probably just tell her to 'take a chill pill.' She looked down and sighed. She wasn't ready to see the fambam yet.

"Are you going to go?" Kyla timidly asked. She expected Ashley to blow up any minute now. She wondered if taking the ticket out would be a bad or good idea. Every part of her mind voted that is was a bad idea.

"I don't really think I have a choice," Ashley scratched her head. "I should have known though, Dawn has been calling me like crazy."

"Do you want to know if Aiden will be there?" Kyla- even more timid- asked her sister. She knew how much Ashley despised their half brother more than anyone. Ashley shook her head.

"No." She wasn't going to make her day any worse.

--

"Did you get your schedule?" Nicole caught up behind Sarah, her own schedule in hand. Even after almost one semester of the same classes, she still hadn't memorized her periods and classes she was taking. Even after 4 years of the same school, she still couldn't find the gym without asking someone; or how the day went. When Sarah was away, she spent most of her days with Ashley, or babysitting Sophia.

"Yes," Sarah snatched Nicole's crumpled up schedule from her hands- amazed she still had it. She glanced over each of their schedules, hoping to find similarities. "We have English and science together."

"Sweet," Nicole took back her schedule, she would be needing that. "Everyone is in English, man. Even Spencer."

"How?" Sarah started walking Nicole to her next class. "She's a junior."

"Advanced Placement I guess," Nicole took Sarah's hand. "What period is next?"

"Fourth," Sarah answered. "You have calculus."

--

Spencer walked- more so stumbled- into her photography class; the third and final class of the day, but Spencer's first. She had caught up to school at lunch, where she spent her hour nursing her pounding head with coffee and Advil.

She got to her seat, happy to finally be able to put her heavy head down. She liked this class; it was her second year taking it. The time was mostly spent doing absolutely nothing, but it was a good naptime; making Spencer feel young every other day.

"Wake up, class," the teacher, Mr. AJ, a young hippie looking guy with died purple dreads, wasn't oblivious to his student's daily slumber. He stood in front of the class, waiting for each head to pop up. "You guys will have a project. You choose how you'd like to present it- in which ever form you choice, I don't really care. You all will be assigned to a professional photographer. You'll each have to make time for them, since they are taking the time to teach you everything that they know. Basically, you guys are just going to be their assistant, and getting to know the ropes and stuff."

The class seemed pleased, satisfied that there was finally something to do in the class, but Spencer just groaned; half because her head began to pound harder, and half because she liked her nap period.

"You'll have a series of appointments; varying from one-on-ones, to assisting them on photo shoots. You will have to explain what you learned, your experience, and provide some photographs from before the project and after, to see improvement if there is any," Mr. AJ went on. "I'll be assigning you shortly."

"You excited?" Sue, Spencer's friend that sat next to her, asked the hung over blonde. The blonde shook her head for an answer. Sue just chuckled, she knew all about Sarah Edmund's coming home party.

"Hopefully we get someone cool," Sue looked at the students that were being handed their pamphlets with information. "And not some old French guy that can't speak English."

"Macklin," Mr. AJ handed Sue a pamphlet. "Carlin..."

He set the pamphlet down by the girl and patted Spencer's head awkwardly, hoping she wasn't dead. Spencer just rolled her head to the side; her headache overcame her teacher's light pat.

"Who'd you get?" Spencer's voice was raspy due to the late night vomiting.

"Some chick," Sue shrugged, not really caring anymore. She was just glad the girl looked like she spoke English. "You?"

Spencer looked at her pamphlet, her vision was blurred and her eyes were read but she could see enough. Her head pounded even harder once she comprehended what was in front of her. "Ah, fuck me…"


	6. Chapter 6

"Unlike a certain pregnant Canadian, I really am at suicide risk," Spencer groaned into her phone, hiding a block down from Ashley's house. She had 5 minutes and 32 seconds until her 'appointment' with the photographer, Ashley Davies, whom she was supposed to accompany along her Eva Woods' photo shoot. She **couldn't** fuck up again; A) this was Ashley B) it was Eva Woods photo shoot C) it was Ashley.

"Spencer?" Kyla asked tiredly on the other line. Spencer's face deadpanned at Kyla's ironic response. She sat up in her 'comfy-ass' bed. "What're you doing up so early?"

"It's 4 o'clock in the afternoon," Spencer glanced at Ashley's door for no reason. She didn't even know what she wanted to see. "And nothing much, just stalking your sister's door step."

"Why?" Kyla laid back down. She had heard all about the Spashley tirade. Spencer showing up on Ashley's doorstep seemed pretty popular these days.

"The photography thing at King," Spencer answered. She could feel a migraine coming on, "Ashley is my mentor."

"Oh shit," Kyla laughed. She couldn't help it- Seriously, what were the chances of THAT happening? Maybe Spencer and Ashley _are_ meant to be, "It'll be fine, Spencer."

Spencer rolled her eyes. She's heard that before. "What should I do, Kyla?"

"Be a good little student and show up," Kyla paused to rub her temples. As loyal as she was to her sister, she never took sides when it came to her and Ashley. In her opinion, Spencer and Ashley were both idiots.

"And then?" Spencer's legs were bouncing.

"Then be a good student and listen to your mentor," Kyla yawned as Spencer rolled her eyes. Kyla was always too straight forward for her liking. "And maybe even do the assignment. It's a project, Spencer. Not a date."

Spencer just made a face and hung up. Kyla was officially off her call-to-feel better list.

--

"Tilt your chin up a little," Ashley's camera was pushed in her face as she (again) stood above a half naked girl lying down on her floor. Nine other people were in the room, including her first 'intern' a.k.a one of the King projects. She was told she had another one, but she was just glad she didn't get Spencer. She'd seriously drop out of the project if she found that out.

"How do I look, Ash?" Eva Woods bit her lip as she laid under Ashley. She didn't really care that her boyfriend, assistant, manager and mother were in the room to hear her seductive voice head Ashley's way. Ashley and her were ex- fuck buddies; she could talk to Ashley however she wanted.

Ashley rolled her eyes behind her camera. This was why she hated having celebrity photo shoots; she always had to look out for her ex's. "You look great, Eva."

"Yeah, you look hot," Sue commented, a bit put off at Eva's tone. Was she flirting with Ashley? "So you do celeb shoots?"

"I do anything my manager hands me," Ashley got off of Eva. "You know those weird urban magazines that are like 10 bucks?"

"Yeah," Sue answered. She owned a few actually.

"I shoot most of them," Ashley handed her camera over to Sue. "Take a shot of her. Whatever angle you want."

"Really?" Sue smiled. How cool would it be having the photo that _she_ took of Eva Woods on her MySpace page?

"Yep; that's what this whole thing is for m'dear," Ashley stepped aside and watched Sue try out different angles. The seductive look on Eva's face was more entertaining though. Her boyfriend didn't seem to notice.

"So you do this every day?" Now the camera was pushed into Sue's face.

"No," Ashley watched carefully as Sue took pictures of Eva. "I'm a creative director. I do short films, promotional posters, photo shoots, projects, everything. Anything my manager hands me."

"How is it?" Sue added 56 points to Ashley's 'cool meter'. "Must be fun."

"Yeah," Ashley agreed. "It's better than most jobs. Uhm, Our session is over though. "

"Oh," Sue stepped away from Eva, blushing for no apparent reason. She handed Ashley back her camera, whom just smiled at the young girl. "Do you know when our next appointment is?"

Ashley smiled. She liked Sue; she reminded her of Spencer. "Next week. I'll text you."

Sue nodded, smiling. In the beginning, she thought that this project would be a pain in the ass, of course figuring that all photographers were old French perverts. Now, she kinda liked it. She got her coat and left.

Ashley followed suit- desperately wanting the day to be over. _One more kid, Ash, Just one more kid._ She opened the door that was just shut by Sue, expecting to just see one body, but getting two instead. Her mind flipped once she recognized whom Sue was talking to… Once again, on her front door.

"What're you doing here?" Ashley sighed; she was really starting to get sick of this. As much as she loved Spencer chasing after her, she needed to be left alone. Spencer of all people should know that. Her ex just looked at her though- a blank, deer in the headlights look. Either she was awed in beauty, or just scared.

"Did you forget that I take Photography?"

_Ah, fuck my life._

--

The girls sat in a circle. The lights were off, and there were pillows and candles everywhere to 'set the mood'. Being left alone all the time, Nicole never found time to buy new furniture after she burned her mother's old couches. Her dad gave her money to buy new ones, but she spent it on booze to piss him off. It worked.

Ashley sat in the corner of the circle, taking sips of her Jack Daniels- felling tipsy, but not drunk yet. She felt warm. She felt good. No one was drunk yet. Kyla, being the youngest (a.k.a least experienced) was the most 'incoherent.' She was laying into her fort of pillows, thinking about Johnny and all the butterfly babies they could create.

"Let's play the drinking game," Kyla grinned drunkenly, the alcohol taking over her voice box. She was almost screaming. "It'll be funnnn."

Sarah smirked from behind Nicole, whom she was holding. Her being the one with morals- wasn't very drunk yet. She **always** had a limit. "Let's play drunken truths."

"Oh fuck yeah!" Kyla yelled, thinking that Sarah just agreed with her. She only heard 'drunken.'

Kyla preceded to hand everyone a shot, which everyone downed once the tiny glass touched their frozen fingers. Ashley downed the shot, and chased it with a gulp of Jack. She didn't really care about the hangover she was going to endure the next morning, she needed to forget.

"Kyla," Summer leaned back into the pillows that surrounded her. Even though she was 100% homosexual, she always 'knew' that Kyla secretly kissed girls (Because apparently _everyone knows that girls are the best kissers.)_ Ashley rolled her eyes at her ex- not wanting to hear about her sister's history.

"Uhhhh.." Kyla smiled, trying to remember everyone she has kissed. "Johnny, hands down."

"Ha," Summer made a face. _Lame._

"Summer, who'd you lose your virginity to?" Nicole leaned further into Sarah, her head in her girlfriend's lap. She figured that long ago, that Summer (being the all American pretty girl) couldn't have lost her v-card to a girl.

"Jason Kelt," Summer answered, disgusted with herself even more than she would have sober. "He was horrible."

"Ew," the group, excluding Kyla (who was trying to think if she had kissed a Jason Kelt), groaned. Having sex with a boy seemed so… repulsive, especially with a douche bag like Jason Kelt.

"I know," Summer took the shot handed to her. "I think the facial hair turned me."

The other girls shrugged. Ashley had never been with a guy before, nor had ever been interested so she wouldn't know. Nicole couldn't remember a time where she wasn't in love with Sarah and Sarah never found anything about boys appealing.

"Sarah, who'd you lost it to?" Summer smiled drunkenly. She liked this game.

"This one over here," Sarah pointed to Nicole in her lap, whom smiled proudly. Sarah really expected them to know already, since Nicole told Ashley everything, and they did start dating their freshman year. "You better have lost yours to me, Nicole."

"Of course babe," Nicole kissed her girlfriend's chin smiling. "I'm no ho."

"Ashley?" Sarah smirked at the sullen brunette, whom looked like she was trying to be Edward Cullen. She probably was too, Ashley was feeling pretty good by now.

"She can't remember her name," Nicole laughed. Ashley glared at her, trying to remember why she was best friends with the girl. "Don't glare, I just answered the question for you."

"Shut up," Ashley took another sip of Jack. "Her name was… Erica."

"That was probably just your last night."

"Fuck off, Nicole."

"I used to think Kyla was hot," Summer admitted, now the alcohol in her veins were talking. She even sat up for it too, making it look like she was giving one of her presidential speeches. Kyla smiled as Ashley groaned; There was nothing worse than having your ex have a crush on your **straight** sister.

"I knew you were flirting with me," Kyla winked at Summer, not finding it a big deal.

"What? You and I were dating when you met Kyla," Ashley made a face at Summer, regretting coming over to Nicole's in the first place.

"That doesn't mean anything."

"I don't like this game."

"I liked you."

"Psh," Ashley took a long sip of Jack after her heard Summer's answer, officially drunk. "I'm still in love with Spencer."

Everyone just looked at Ashley, no one knowing exactly what to say. Of course everyone knew that she was, but they never expected Ashley to admit it- to them and herself. It was different hearing her actually say it.

"It's about time you admit it," Nicole smirked- feeling proud of her best friend. She knew this idea was a good one. "We were starting to think you forgot."

Ashley rolled her stubborn head to the side. How could you forget the stance of being in love? It was all Ashley ever thought about.

"What're you," Kyla burped. "Gonna do about it?"

"I'm gonna," Ashley fluffed the pillows behind her up, making herself a cozy little cave for herself, and probably Summer. She laid down. "Go to sleep, and then I'll wake up and think of all of Spencer's flaws so I can forget the fact that I'm in love with a girl I should hate."

The plan was impossible. Even Ashley knew it. As much as Ashley didn't want to believe she was in love with Spencer, she still couldn't find a single flaw Spencer had that she could think of.


	7. Chapter 7

"Why's it so crowded today?" Nicole, Sarah, and Anna Molly were walking around the mall, debating where they should eat. It was Sophia's dad's turn to take care of her, so Anna Molly had some well deserved free time. She politely declined Nicole's offer of going to a strip club (or 'at least Ego') so now there they were, just walking around the mall. Anna Molly had a permanent smile on her face as she walked with her friends; as much as she loved and adored her daughter, it was nice feeling like a normal teenager again.

"It's Friday, baby," Sarah answered her girlfriend. Nicole's arm was wrapped around her shoulders, and Sarah interlaced her fingers with Nicole's. They were an adorable couple, really. Even with the height difference. "Of course it's going to be crowded."

"Let's eat cookies," Anna Molly started heading over to Cookie Corner, knowing the couple behind her didn't mind. They were used to Anna Molly's random cravings, especially during her pregnancy. She looked over her options while Nicole and Sarah stared at her oddly. They weren't craving cookies at the moment.

"Sure you not pregnant again, Anna?" Nicole smirked, liking the idea. Another Sophia would be so much fun. Sarah glared at her though, making Nicole frown.

"Ugh," Anna Molly cringed. She loved Sophia, she really did, but she did **not** love the 9 months prior to her. She couldn't even imagine getting pregnant again. "Heck no, Nicole. A guy hasn't even looked at me since I got pregnant."

"That's not true," Sarah reasoned, looking over to the guy on the other counter of the cookie booth, whom was obviously checking Anna Molly out. She looked at his name tag that read; Ian. He grinned as Anna Molly finally decided on getting one of everything. She leaned over to whisper in Anna Molly's ear as Ian collected Anna Molly's order. "He's obviously looking, and might I add; liking what he sees."

Anna Molly rolled her eyes, not really caring. The boys could look at they wanted for all she cared. No one was going to date her, not after knowing she has a kid. Especially a high school boy.

"I should just sign up for Teen Mom," Anna Molly smiled politely at Ian as he handed her, her order. "Then maybe a good, loyal man will find me. But I highly doubt that those kind of guys watch Teen Mom…"

"Don't worry Anna," Sarah got on her tippy toes and wrapped her tiny arm around Anna Molly's shoulders. "We'll find you a nice guy."

"You should just try girls," Nicole smirked, her head bowing to her cell phone's keyboard that she was currently pounding into. Nicole obviously was a crazy texter. "That'd be fun."

"You think everything is fun, Nicole," Anna Molly looked into her bag and pulled out a chocolate chip cookie as they sat down in the food court.

Nicole just shrugged, she couldn't argue with that.

"Nicole Chambers?!" Nicole looked back to the unidentified voice, dropping a frowning Sarah's hand in the process. Anna Molly didn't miss the gesture. Nicole stood up, smiling brightly with her arms wide open.

"Jane Terry," a short haired blonde girl, whom could now be referred to Jane Terry, filled Nicole's arms. She was Nicole's height, and her age too. "I missed you, you fucker."

Sarah frowned at the exchange. She was never an overly jealous girlfriend, but she knew how the exchange would end up; that's what she hated most. Anna Molly frowned at her friend, feeling bad for her. She knew how Sarah felt.

"Where the fuck have you been?" Jane's bright blue eyes were sparkling as they stared into Nicole's. Her hands were on her hips, and the smile on her face spread from ear to ear. It's always nice to see an old friend. "You've been missing all the hot parties, girl."

"Yeah, I know," Nicole made a face of regret. Sarah frowned even harder at that; the reason why Nicole wasn't at the parties was because she was spending all her time with Sarah. "Text me when you're at one or something. I'll be there, I promise."

Jane laughed, putting Nicole's words into her memory. She definitely had to remember that one. She looked over at Nicole's previous company; Mama Molly and Sister Sarah. She was never a fan of the two, and always wondered why her friend dated Sarah for so long. Sarah just seemed so… boring to her. Heck, Sarah was known for being the nicest girl in school, and Nicole was the partier. How the heck could Sarah of all girls satisfy Nicole? It had always confused Jane. She figured it was just a fling during freshman year, considering Nicole's partying ways- but was highly surprised when it lasted four long years.

"Come order lunch with me? We can catch up," Jane offered. She didn't really care that Nicole was with other people, her girlfriend especially. She missed her friend. "Just for a sec."

Nicole immediately nodded, not giving it a second thought. Anna Molly rolled her eyes, she- and Sarah- both knew this was going to happen. She stared dumbly at her friend as Nicole quickly kissed Sarah before walking away with Jane.

"I'll be back, babe." Nicole kissed Sarah, whom didn't even bother kissing back, knowing that Nicole wouldn't even notice anyway.

"She'll be back, Sarah," Anna Molly didn't know if she meant it, or just hoped. She knew previous times where Nicole forgot all about Sarah, and just went off to get drunk or something- leaving Sarah waiting for hours without end. She frowned, watching Sarah watch Nicole walk away. She knew how Sarah felt about being left behind, she always felt like she would be sounding too demanding- or overly jealous to tell Nicole to stop. She mentally reminded herself to talk to Nicole for her.

Sarah sighed. She wasn't stupid, she knew her chances. She had a 90% chance of Nicole forgetting about her, but Anna Molly was there so her odds lifted to an 85%. She knew she wasn't going to be seeing her girlfriend tonight. "If you say so, Anna."

--  
Spencer's right leg bounced rapidly as she sat on Ashley's leather couch. Ashley's assistant (whom ultimately had no purpose at all) had let the blonde in, so now she was just waiting for Ashley to come out and get on with her lesson. She didn't know what to expect, she certainly wasn't hoping for what happened last time.

"_Did you forget that I take photography?"_

_Ashley sighed and cursed herself. She knew this whole high school shit was a bad idea. Especially it being the high school she dropped out of just last year. How could she have forgotten that Spencer took photography?_

"_Yes," Ashley answered honestly and walked away with a huff, leaving the door open for Spencer to come in. Her mind was racing, desperately trying to figure out a way to get out of this. She was __**not**__ ready to see Spencer yet. "Uhm, actually I have to go. I have to do a photo shoot at a club, and uhhh.. you have to be 21 to get in."_

_Spencer rolled her eyes. Oh god, that has to be the worst lie she's ever told._

"_You're only 19," Spencer's eyebrow was raised. She, for once, didn't find it a big deal anymore. At least Ashley wasn't yelling at her anymore, or glaring. "How are you getting in?"_

_Ashley made a face. "I'm the photographer. If I tell them they have to let you in too because of this project, they won't believe me. Especially since they know that I dated you and all."_

_Ashley quickly grabbed her leather jacket, and made an exit through the back door. She already told her assistant to let Spencer out._

Ashley groaned, sitting in her bedroom with her face buried into her hands. She looked like a hot mess; with her hair messy with her bouncy curls. She wore a black hoodie with nothing underneath, and gray jeans. She just came home from dropping Summer off- who too had a killer hangover. They woke up alone in Nicole's apartment, groaning with Summer running to the bathroom. Ashley held her head in her hands, remembering everything from the night before- including her admission.

_Fuck my life, man. I have been saying that too much lately, hah._

"Ashley," the assistant, Allison, opened her boss' boor. She really served no real purpose, but the company Ashley worked for sent Allison over to Ashley, fearing that Ashley was too stressed with all the work they were assigning her. "The King High girl is here. Spencer."

Ashley sighed. _Just what I need._

"Spencer," Ashley shouted, walking down the spiral stairs. The blonde quickly turned her head over to her ex's voice, whom was suddenly now right in front of her. Spencer frowned at the brunette's appearance; she looked in desperate need of sleep with the black circles under her eyes, and her hair was a mess. She always remembered that Ashley **hated** looking unprofessional at work. Despite this, Spencer still thought Ashley looked more than beautiful. "We need to talk."

"Uhm," Spencer's eyes narrowed curiously. "About cameras?"

Ashley rolled her eyes; she was way too hung over to care at the moment. "Yeah, Later. I know that you're nervous to be here and all. I don't mean to… put fear in your heart or whatever. But I have to do my job, and I doubt that you want an F. "

Ashley coughed, missing Spencer's shocked reaction. She continued once she was done with her coughing attack," I'm really hung over by the way. So for professional purposes, let's just put our shit aside and do our jobs, okay?"

Spencer's eyes were denying. Was this really coming out of Ashley's mouth? She needed reassurance," Okayyy… How does this work then?"

Ashley shrugged. Again, she was way too hung over to care. "We just act like nothing ever happened between us; fresh start. Okay?"

Spencer stared at her ex, still skeptical. She searched Ashley's tired eyes for any trickery, or any signs for this being a practical joke. She couldn't find any. "Okay, Ashley. Clean slate. By the way, I love how you said 'for professional purposes' right after you told me you were hung over."

Ashley smirked, chuckling. "Well, I am. And you know how I am."

Ashley sighed, getting up. She was over the whole Spencer drama. She just felt the need to be okay with her again. She couldn't handle seeing her every other day and being on bad terms. She was so over it by now. She took out her cell phone, checking her text messages. She opened a text message from Nicole;

_Acceptance: __favorable reception; approval; favor. The final step of grief. --- I found this in Hallmark. I think it's a bit brutal. It reminded me of you._

Ashley rolled her eyes. The situation was way too ironic for her liking.

--

"I'm tired," Sarah announced, standing up from the food court. She was too, her face was proof. Her usual bright eyes were dull, and her expression was dark. Anna Molly frowned at her friend, feeling sorry for her. Since Nicole's departure, they had taken 5 walks around the mall, gone to every store, and sat in the food court for another 2 hours. Sarah apparently 'wanted to see if Nicole was waiting.' Even though both girls knew she wasn't. "Come on, I'll take you home."

Anna Molly sighed and followed Sarah. She knew her friend was feeling horrible, and she was royally pissed at Nicole for making her this way. She wrapped her arm around the shorter girl. "She'll make it up to you, Sare. Don't worry."

Sarah smiled sadly, appreciating Anna Molly's efforts. She knew that Nicole was just going to apologize, and kiss her until she forgave her. It was almost routine.

"I'm sure she will."


	8. Chapter 8

Anna Molly couldn't help herself. It was her body's will, really. She just **had** to sigh every two minutes. Not a good sigh though, the bad eye roll sigh. First of all, she was changing Sophia- and how the hell was she supposed to have fun doing that? Secondly while the mist of this, she was listening to Nicole talk about her night last night; the night she ditched her and Sarah. She kept rolling her eyes, but kept her eyes on Sophia so Nicole wouldn't see. As pissed as she was, she didn't want to be rude.

She wasn't really pissed for herself though; she could really care less that Nicole ditched her. She was just her friend and she didn't have the right to tell the other girl what to do, but she still couldn't stand her doing that to Sarah, who **did** have the right and didn't say anything. Anyone would know that it's **not** okay to just ditch your girlfriend at the mall… 6 times.

"Nicole," Anna Molly picked Sophia up and sat down on one of Ashley's black leather couches. _Hmm, how do you say this nicely?_ "You're being an asshole. Well, not really an asshole, just a really bad girlfriend."

Nicole frowned, not understanding. What the hell brought this along? "How so?"

Anna Molly raised her eyebrow. "I can't believe you just ditched Sarah like that. Not even mentioning the other five times you have. What the hell makes you think that that's okay?"

Nicole's mouth was agape. It didn't seem to bother Sarah, so why would it bother Anna? "Well, she had you…"

Anna Molly rolled her eyes; such a Nicole answer. She knew quite well that Nicole wasn't used to people telling her when she did something wrong. Sarah always wanted Nicole to figure it out on her own, and learn from her mistakes by finding them out herself. "Okay… What's your excuse for the other five times?"

_Was it that many? _Nicole shrugged. She never found it that big of a deal. Sarah never yelled at her about it and plus, Sarah knew so much people. Sarah would be fine without her. "She never said anything."

"She shouldn't have to," Anna made a face as Sophia began giggling at Nicole. She couldn't lose the moment now. "She just misses you, Nic. I mean she fly's back home to be with you and she's being left at the mall for an old friend? Plus, it's Jane… and that's even worse."

At that, Nicole rolled her eyes. She was starting to wonder if Anna was talking to her for Sarah, or for her dislike for Jane. "Okay, Anns, I'll apologize and spend time with her."

Anna wasn't so sure.

--

Turns out, clubs are still crowded on weekdays. Spencer didn't know if she should be disappointed of excited, really. Her and Sue were at Ego, on a Tuesday night. Ego, as usual was packed, the majority of people in the club were underage and everyone was already 3 quarters drunk by now. Not Spencer though, she was sober- not wanting to dwell with a head ace during her science test. In all honesty, she didn't like clubs that much. She could never find anything that was that fun about them. To her, it was just a room full of dancing, loud music, and sweaty bodies.

She would go to a concert if she wanted that, at least she could listen to music she liked.

"God," Sue groaned as she and Spencer fell into the private VIP booth. Spencer (through Ashley of course) knew the owner, thus giving her personal connections. Much to Sue's joy as well. "You keep talking about this Ashley chick. Who the hell is she?"

Spencer eyed the 3 shots on the table in front of her. _Fuck it_. She downed the shots; if she was going to be talking about Ashley all night, she would need alcohol in her system.

She cringed as she felt the alcohol burn her throat, and warm her stomach. Being a lightweight, it didn't take Spencer long for her to feel the wooziness. "Well…"

--

Ashley sighed as she walked around a random club she remembered a friend recommended. She didn't know _anyone_ there, and she needed to get her mind off Spencer. She needed something- something that would just make her mind go blank. She was already 6 shots in, and feeling a bit tipsy. But she still needed some**one** to get lost in.

She eyed the entire dance floor, her eyes falling on a redhead dancing alone with her arms above her head, moving her hips with her eyes closed.

She grinned as she stepped closer- Spencer being the last thing on her mind.

_Mission accomplished._

--

"We dated for like… a year and a half?" Spencer's drunken mind couldn't remember. Since her 3 shots, she had had 2 more. But thinking of Ashley was sobering her up real quick.

"I knew you were a lesbo!" Sue's eyes bugged out of her tiny asian head. She knew her gaydar had been correct!

Spencer made a face. That was the last thing she was expecting. At that point though, she didn't really care who knew about her history.

"Oh uh sorry," Sue scrambled to mentally pick herself up. It was obvious Spencer wasn't in the mood for jokes. "What happened between you two?"

Spencer chuckled sarcastically; she didn't know where to begin.

"She went to our school, hah. She dropped out though, to get her GED and take up on this weird job she has. We met at a party I think, and she has this weird Ashley charm about her that made me fall for her, made me fall hard for her," Spencer paused to scratch her head, still feeling the alcohol in her system. "We were never… out, as a couple. Well, to our friends, yeah. But not to my family or anything. My mom is really homophobic."

"She even hated her being my friend. It's stupid because Ashley's the best friend I ever had, and the bestest friend anyone could ever have. But we started dating, of course. She always said that she was more in love with me, or something? I guess she was right."

"Uhm, how do you know she was right?" Sue asked after a minute of silence. She figured that Spencer wasn't going to continue without questions.

"I- well _we_ considering Ashley found out too- figured it out when my mom found out about us," drunken Spencer yawned.

"How?" The story was just getting good.

"She walked in on us, you know, having sex. I freaked out, like literally freaked out. My family disowned me after that and I just couldn't take it. Most of it was because being with Ashley made me feel really insecure and stuff- just because she's Ashley and she's so amazing and everything… and she's just so… lovable. I mean, everyone loves her. So I was always just so insecure about her finding someone else and just leaving me. And where the hell would I go?" Spencer closed her eyes, not enjoying the feeling of talking.

"Well, what happened after that?" Sue put her hand on Spencer's back, just for moral support.

"I freaked out. Ashley always told me everything would be okay, but I didn't believe her, of course. I just needed to _feel_ like everything was okay," Spencer shook her head at her old self. "One night, I went to Ego and I don't remember what it was, but I took something- a pill, that is. I don't remember much of that night. I remember going home with Ashley's brother, and I ended up sleeping with him."

Sue's mouth was a perfect "o" shape. She never knew Spencer was like _that._

"She walked in on us, and I of course went after her. Before that, I had never seen her cry before. But of course my drug induced mind thought her crying was funny. I got her to stop walking away for a second so I just started talking. I can't remember what exactly I said to her. But I remember she just had constant tears running down her face as I was talking," Spencer frowned, now almost completely sober again. "Her best friend told me that I said that it was her fault that I was so miserable, and that she's the reason why I lost my family; that I hated her, and was just with her because I had no one else anymore. The next day, I went to school with the biggest head ace, and she was there because it was back when she was still in school. I told her that Aiden, her brother, and I was just a mistake and that I was sorry. She of course, ignored me and just went to her classes. I think it was lunch time when I saw Aiden. He just smiled at me, wrapped his arms around my waist, and kissed me. I couldn't push him off of me, so it looked like I was just holding his arms. When I pulled back, Ashley was just standing there, watching us."

"Wow," Sue didn't really know what to say. What _do_ you say to that? "Uh, what's it been like with you two lately?"

"I just started talking to her again," Spencer sighed. She was disappointed that this was the happiest part of the story. "But we still haven't had the opportunity to just sit down and talk. She doesn't want to though."

"How do you know?"

"Would you?"

Sue couldn't find anything to say to make Spencer feel better. Ashley was the only thing that was going to make Spencer feel better.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Thus what she did to Ashley, Spencer is still with her family. Thanks for all the reviews btw, I appreciate all of them.**

**--**

"So you're getting on the plane now?" Nicole sighed as she sat in her car, on the phone with Ashley sitting outside of Sarah's house. She decided to kill two birds with one stone; be a good friend, and be a good girlfriend. So now she was on the phone, checking up on her best friend's flight, and was going to spend the day with her girlfriend. How sweet, right?

You have to thank Anna Molly for that one.

"Yeah," Ashley answered from the other line. Nicole could hear the distress in her voice. She of all people knew how much Ashley was dreading this trip. "Douche bag has just arrived."

"Aiden?" Nicole stared out at Sarah's window. She knew Sarah probably wasn't in there; she'd be cooking breakfast for her family. Like she did every other morning, like she did for Nicole on occasion. "I'm surprised he's not in New York by now. You know how he loves being a Davies."

"Yeah, I liked him better when his last name was Dennison," Ashley huffed into her sidekick. She sighed as her father's assistant started yelling at her to get onto the Davies private jet. "I have to go though; I'll call you when I get to New York. Oh, and I'm glad you've finally decided to spend some time with Sarah. She's missed you."

_Why the hell does everyone know this information but me?_ Nicole sighed. "Yeah, alright. Bye."

She put her phone into her pocket and got out of the car. She hadn't talked to Sarah since the night she ditched her. She tried talking to her the day before, but Sarah just told her she was 'busy' and hung up. She was going to surprise her today though. She waited at Sarah's front door as she rang the doorbell.

"Nicole?" one of Sarah's sisters, Scarlett answered the door. Just by looking at Scarlett, you could tell her and Sarah were sisters. Scarlett and Sarah shared the same eye color, hair color, but Scarlett was 3 years older and was 3 inches taller. The Edmund genes ran strong. "I haven't seen you in awhile."

Nicole frowned. Scarlett was never a fan of her and Sarah dating. In all honesty, Scarlett didn't really care, but she knew how Nicole tended to treat Sarah, and like any protective big sister, hated seeing her little sister sad. She liked Nicole; she did, but didn't like Nicole's antics, that's all.

"Hey Scarlett," Nicole smiled politely at the older girl.

"She's mad at you," Scarlett yawned. It was 8:30AM. She was surprised Nicole was even awake at this time. Even she had just woken up. "I highly doubt she wants to see you."

"I want to apologize to her," Nicole proposed, hoping Scarlett was feeling nice today. She **needed** to be on good terms with Sarah. She couldn't handle not being able to talk to her girl, especially not being able to have any contact with her for an entire day. "Scarrrr, please be nice."

"It's family day," Scarlett said. She knew she'd be letting Nicole in any minute now. She didn't like seeing Sarah so miserable. And she knew only Nicole could make her feel any better.

"Family day?" Nicole asked. Now she was just confused.

"Have you forgotten?" Scarlett asked, making a face. Nicole had been through this for 4 years, and only now she decides to forget? _No wonder Sarah's mad at her._ "Our dad makes us have a day every month where we just hang out with the family, you know this Nicole. You've pretty much been a part of this family for four years now."

Nicole smiled at that. "You think of me as a part of your family?"

Scarlett rolled her brown eyes. Of course Nicole was going to go for the good part of her rebuttal. "No shit, Sherlock. You know that Dad thinks of you as his daughter, and you've been around long enough to be a sister in law by now. And by the way, if you do one day ask Sarah to marry you, you do not have our permission."

"Why not? And whose permission do I not have?" Nicole furrowed her eyebrows together, confused. She was starting to get scared, honestly. She couldn't imagine an adult life with Sarah not being her wife.

"Mine, first of all," Scarlett smiled sarcastically. "You probably have the boy's permission, including Dad's, but you certainly don't have mine and Amy's."

Nicole frowned again, thinking about her girlfriend's siblings. She sighed; no wonder Anna Molly wanted her to be a better girlfriend. "Well, since I'm pretty much a part of your family and all, could I maybe barge in on family day for abit?"

Scarlett rolled her eyes. "Get in, loser."

--

"Are you nervous?" Kyla asked as she sat next to Ashley, who was just sitting down, with her eyes closed and hadn't said a word since they boarded the plane. Aiden sat in the front of the private plane, with Dan (the assistant) sitting next to him. She was starting to worry about her sister; Ashley almost looked like she had passed out. "You look pale."

"I'm fine," Ashley opened her eyes and directed her eyes toward her little sister. She wasn't fine- not really. Her head was pounding, her heart was aching (not metaphorically, just physically) her body was sore, and she was feeling nauseous. She hid it well though, especially with her dark sunglasses on. "I'm surprised douche bag hasn't annoyed me yet."

"Yeah," Kyla agreed, she too was wondering why Aiden hadn't been rubbing _something _in her face. "I guess he's giving you a break this winter."

"Doubt it," Ashley sighed, just wanting to get to New York and get the whole trip over with. "Whatever, I'm going to sleep, wake me up when we land."

--

The Edmund household- well, the first floor, was mostly empty. Nicole figured that everyone was sleeping. She could smell the smell of coffee, and bacon and eggs radiating from the kitchen and knew that she was right about her cooking breakfast for her family. She smiled at the thought.

"She's in the kitchen," Scarlett called out from the staircase. She could get an hour more of sleep while she let Sarah and Nicole have their privacy. "Let me know when breakfast is ready."

"Sure thing," Nicole started walking into the large kitchen, where she found her girlfriend. Nicole smiled at the sight of her; Sarah was still wearing her dinosaur pajamas footie bottoms and a black wife beater. Her black hair was a mess, pulled into a pony tail. She smiled in remembrance of all the times she had woken up to the sight in front of her. "Hey babe…"

Sarah turned around with her eyebrow raised. "How'd you get in here?"

Nicole frowned, but stayed put. She could only expect Sarah to not want to see her. "Scarlett let me in."

"Ohh," Sarah took a metal note to not let her sister have any breakfast. "Why are you here?"

Nicole frowned even harder. How could Sarah think she didn't want to see her? "I wanted to apologize," she took a step closer to the shorter girl and wrapped her arms around her waist," I'm sorry, Sarah. I really am. I promise you that it won't happen again. I'm going to spend every second with you, every second you want to spend with me, that is. Forgive me, baby?"

Sarah couldn't help but roll her eyes with a smile on her face. How was she supposed to deny that? "You're forgiven. You can start on that today."

"You sure you still want to spend your time on a jackass like me?" Nicole asked, looking deep into her girlfriend's eyes.

Sarah smiled and laid a hand on the side of Nicole's face. "You're the only fucker worth my time."

--

Ashley walked off the plane, alone, tired and wanting a cigarette asap. Dan never bothered them after they got off the plane; he had better things to do. She got off the plane alone, since she didn't even bother with Aiden and didn't have the heart to wake Kyla up. She sighed once she hit the Earth again. _Home sweet home._

"I'm surprised you showed," Cash Davies, 20 years old but looking 25 stood on his sister's runway, smiling with a cigarette placed perfectly between his pierced lips. Ashley smirked once she saw her older brother. He looked different, older definitely. His usual bright brown eyes were read and his chin was scruffy with a light goatee Ashley had never seen before. His short brown hair was spiked, but that was never different to anyone. His weight was different though; he was usually muscled; now he was just plain skinny. He looked like he lost at least 20 pounds.

Ashley didn't even bother to roll her eyes. She was simply too tired. All she wanted to do was get to her room (in L.A of course) and sleep. She took off her sunglasses to face her brother, stopping to sigh at how much they looked alike.

"I'm surprised** you** showed up," Ashley smirked. She knew better than anyone that Cash usually spent his winters drinking and partying in Russia or somewhere weird like that. When he wasn't playing in his band, that is. She smiled as Cash handed her a cigarette. He knew just by looking at her that she desperately needed one. "Where's that slut of yours?"

Cash rolled his eyes. Ashley always called his girlfriend 'slut' and he never knew why. He always just figured that she didn't like the way she looked, because even he couldn't deny that Cindy did in fact look like a slut. "If you mean my girlfriend- of three full years, might I add- she's at our apartment. I'm going to pick her up and take her to the house later."

Ashley shrugged; she didn't really care and checked her text messages the best she could with her frozen hands. She hated how cold it was in New York. All she was wearing was a worn down band tee shirt, jeans and a hoodie. Everything else was in her luggage. She was freezing. She blew into her hands as she saw Cash do the same. Being pretty much the same person as Ashley, Cash wore just about the same thing. "Where are the others?"

"Dawn is with Allison, who's driving to the house right now, and Ambrose is with Dad probably," Cash scratched his head. "Where's Kyla?"

"I left her on the plane," Ashley answered. Kyla was probably awake by now. She looked back at the plane only to see Aiden walking down the stairs. She turned back to Cash," I refuse to ride in the same limo as him. I'll take a cab for all I care; I don't give a shit about what Dad wants."

Cash just stared down at Ashley; he too hated Aiden just as much as she did, amongst other reasons of course. Other than what he did to Ashley (which Cash almost beat the shit out of him for) Cash just thought that Aiden was nothing more than an egotistical jerk. He was honestly ashamed to know, and be related to him- even though they were only half brothers. "Don't worry, I've got my car. Once Kyla comes, we can leave."

Ashley sighed. _Goodie._


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: You guys seem to like Anna Molly. She loves you guys too, you guys are keeping her alive (;**

**I cut this chapter in half, mostly because it's 1:33AM and I'm tired. But it's kind of long, so I'm sorry.**

**Again, thanks for the reviews. Enjoy. **

**--**

Sophia's eyes were bright as her mommy pushed her in her stroller around the mildly crowded park. Anna Molly thought her daughter could use some outdoors time, so she took the privilege of taking her to the park for some nice California sun. Sophia loved every minute of it too- being the good baby that she was. All she did was giggle and clap her tiny hands at random kids playing.

"Sophie," Anna Molly sat down and took Sophia out of her stroller. She sat the one year old in her lap, smiling as Sophia kicked her legs. "Stop, babe. You can't walk yet."

Sophia looked up at her mom, smiling. She loved being outside. It was obvious she was a summer baby. She played with her mommy's necklace as Anna Molly looked around the park, soaking the winter sun.

Anna Molly kissed her baby's soft brown hair. She loved these moments- the moments she just sat and had quality with someone. She especially loved those moments with Sophia; everyone knew that she loved her baby more than anything in the world. Of course she'd love spending time with her. But of course, being human- and more importantly being a teenager- she **had** to feel lonely. At least once in awhile.

She had her friends, whom she knew would always be there for her and take care of her when she needed to be. She had Ashley, who she pretty much lived with when she wasn't at home. But of course, she had to crave the feeling of someone around her all the time. Heck, she was a teenage girl; of course she wanted to be in love again.

"Anna?" Peter Chesterton, looking like he always did, stood in front to Anna Molly and Sophia. His eyes were a dirty brown, matching his messy hair and his figure looked long and lean. Anna Molly looked up at the tan boy in front of her and frowned, he was the last person she wanted to see.

"Daddy!"Sophia smiled and clapped her tiny hands at her daddy. Peter smiled at his daughter, but he knew this was going to fuck his day up. Anna sighed. _Today has officially been ruined._

"Daddy?" the girl that was on Peter's arm made a face and took her arm back from Peter. She shook her head; there was no way she was going to be taking care of a kid that wasn't hers. "I'm not going to be taking care of anyone's kid."

"Who said I wanted you to?" Peter rolled his eyes as he watched his date walk away. He knew this would happen. The girls wouldn't come to him anymore if they knew he had a kid. He turned back to face a frowning Anna Molly and a smiling Sophia. "What?"

"Nothing," Anna Molly looked around the park again, hoping Peter would just go away and leave her and Sophia alone. Sophia squirmed in her lap, making her frown. It was obvious she wanted to go with her dad.

Peter sighed. "Well, I have nothing to do today so I'll do you a favor and take her off your hands."

Anna Molly looked at him in disgust. She couldn't remember why she had fallen in love with him anymore. Or how she could even look at him. "What Peter, so you only want to take care of her when you don't have anything else to do?"

Peter shook his head. "That's not what I said."

"In a nutshell, it is," Anna Molly sighed. She hated doing this in front of Sophia. The last think she wanted her to see were her parents fighting.

Peter rolled his eyes. Women. When Sophia was born, he vowed to raise her to think nothing like a woman. He wanted her to be different; raise her to think rationally and not be so hard on the men for once. He wanted her to be good. He wanted to raise her to be a nice wife and such. If you could call seeing your kid once a week 'raising.'

"Well do you want me to take her?" Peter didn't know if he wanted to hear a yes or a no. A yes would mean he'd have to take care of a crying and pooping baby all day. A no would mean he'd have to give up his weekend.

"No, I don't," Anna Molly looked away again, hoping Peter would get the hint and leave.

Peter made a face, sick of her attitude. Now he wanted to take Sophia just to piss her off. "And why not?"

"Because I'm not going to be giving my daughter off to someone who doesn't even want her," she shook her head and tried to stay quiet. She failed. "I take care of her because I want to, because I love her- not because I have to."

Peter made an even more revolted face. Here he was, trying to be nice and do his ex a favor and this is what he gets? The nerve of her!

"Hey, I'm just trying to do you a favor here."

"Well don't bother then," Anna Molly rolled her green eyes and stood up, putting Sophia in her stroller. She frowned once Sophia got fussy.

"Where are you going?"

"Ashley's," Anna Molly answered. She knew that that was the one place she could always go. Explaining why she was home so early to her parents would be embarrassing anyway.

"Oh my god," Peter rolled his eyes. He hated Ashley obviously and wasn't afraid to show it. He hated her for stupid reasons of course; just because Ashley was gay and could get more girls than he could. "Do you want Sophia to turn into a lesbian? It's bad enough you fucking named her after that bitch."

Anna Molly turned to Peter with the most disgusted look he's ever seen her wear. He knew it was just the middle name, but he didn't think she took it as that big of a deal.

"Once, there's nothing wrong with being gay. Two, Ashley has been there for me AND Sophia more than you have and three, I'd rather have Sophia be a lesbian than be like you, Peter."

--

Ashley looked around the house, half surprised half confused. She could remember very well walking into the same house she did every year, but the inside was completely different. The mansion looked… alive for once. Last year, the mansion was barely furnished. All they had was two leather couches, a coffee table, and a bunch of mattresses to sleep on. The house was completely full now. Ashley couldn't help but make a face. The mansion didn't look so dull anymore.

It reminded her of one of those vintage English royalty houses. Ashley knew immediately that her mother had decorated everything- everything was read, her mother's favorite color. Every room had at least two plasma screens in it (probably her father's touch) and each of the 10 rooms were neat and tidy. The kitchen was full and radiant, much to Ashley's confusion. She couldn't remember seeing her mother cook her in life. But a Martha Stewart duplicate stood right before her.

Kyla too was confused, wondering what the fuck was going on. They had couches now; _nice_ couches. Nice and expensive- just the way Mrs. Davies liked it. The large mansion looked completely remodeled on the inside; it looked like a new house even. She was starting to worry.

Ashley walked up the stairs with Kyla trailing behind her. She was intent on getting to her room ASAP. Despite the fact that all of the older Davies had up and moved on out by now, Mrs. Davies insisted on keeping their rooms just the way they were for the holidays. God knows they had enough rooms to do so.

Ashley barged into her room, expecting a guest room, or an office or something. Her mouth dropped a little once she saw that everything was exactly the way she left them. Her dark maroon walls still laid under the numerous posters, pictures, and magazine cut outs untouched. Her desk was in the same place, with her old Mac laptop resting atop with numerous pens and pencils scattered around it. Various articles of clothing lay on the floor and he bed was still unmade, just the way she left it. The only thing different was her window was shut.

Ashley sat her bag down and sat on her bed. She didn't know what to feel. She couldn't even tell if she was uncomfortable or not. She sighed and decided that the magical feeling of sleep was the right feeling for her.

--

Family day turned into family weekend, much to Nicole's joy. She loved Sarah's family- now a.k.a her own family more than anything, and she felt closer to her girlfriend's family more than she did her own. She was happy to be a part of it, and glad that she had a girlfriend that was so… welcome.

It made her proud.

Nicole couldn't be happier, honestly. She laid on Sarah's bed while Sarah sat, facing her but on her laptop. Mr. Edmund had told his children (and his future daughter in law) that they were going to be eating out tonight (no pun intended) so Sarah decided to have a little alone time with Nicole, also deciding that they really needed to talk.

"So," Nicole laid with her head against the headboard. She decided to bring the subject that had been on the back of her mind the day her girlfriend came back to California. She didn't know how to approach it though, so being Nicole, she decided to just go vulgar. "Are you ever going to tell me why you came back?"

"To you?" Sarah asked her eyes still on her laptop. Her hair was put up in a messy ponytail with her eyes covered with her black brimmed glasses.

"No, to here," Nicole sat up right, and pulled Sarah closed to her. Well, not really. She just pushed her laptop closer to her, so Sarah got closer to stay near. "I know you wanted to stay with your mom, Sare."

Sarah sighed. She was wondering when Nicole was going to bring this up. She knew that Nicole was in love with Mrs. Edmund. And Nicole even cried when her and Mr. Edmund got divorced and she moved across the country. It was the reason why Sarah had to 'come back' to California.

"She didn't want me there Nic," Sarah sighed and pushed her glasses further up her nose.

Nicole made a face. "That's not true. What makes you think that?"

"She told me," Sarah closed her laptop and looked down at Nicole. "She's not doing very well, and she just plain out told me that I had to leave."

Nicole made another face, more of a shocked one than anything. She didn't know what to say, or what she should say to make Sarah feel better. She loved Mrs. Edmund and always saw her as nothing but a saint. She didn't even know the details of their divorce; she always figured that it was too sore of a subject to ask Sarah about.

"Oh…" Nicole looked down, biting her pierced lip. She continued without stopping, just saying whatever came to mind," I don't think she didn't want you there, Sare. I guess she just wants to be alone right now. You know, get her life together before she's with her kids. You know, need to clean herself up for you guys."

Sarah smiled. She knew Nicole was never good at comforting, but she was doing pretty well now. She leaned down and kissed her, letting her know she appreciated it. Nicole gladly kissed her back, rubbing her cold hand over Sarah's neck because she knew it gave the girl tingles. She frowned when the smaller girl pulled back, smiling.

"I was going to come back anyway though," Sarah paused, looking down. "I can't handle being away from you for too long."

Nicole sat up and pulled Sarah into her, pushing her further so that their bodies were touching. She ran her fingers along Sarah's neck, "Well baby, your mom loves you. Maybe during break if you want to, I can fly us up to Ohio to see her, okay? If you want to, that is. But keep in mind, love; that you'll always have me. Kay babe?"

Sarah smiled and cupped her girlfriend's face, sliding her thumb along Nicole's cheekbones. "Okay, baby."

--

Allison Davies sighed as she opened the door for her and Dawn to walk through. She, being the only Davies in cooperated with the Davies' business didn't care much about the renovation. She's been seeing it every day for about four months now. Her eyes were tired, since she was dreading this get together as well, and she looked 5 years older than her real age, 25.

Dawn Davies looked excited though, as she walked through her front door. Her brown eyes were bright, and her smile was radiant. So radiant that she was now making money off of it, even though it pissed Raife off. No father would like his 15 year old daughters' body plastered everywhere. Dawn kept with it though; her father wasn't going to keep her from anything.

"Hey," Ashley greeted as she walked down the stairs, in lounge pants and an oversized see through white tank top. Allison frowned at her sister's appearance. She was looking far too thin. Dawn's smile only grew bigger though.

"Ashley," Allison greeted. She wasn't _that_ happy to see Ashley, if she was being honest. Ashley rolled her eyes as Allison lightly patted Ashley on the shoulder.

"We're not brothers," Ashley moved to hug Dawn, whom happily accepted. Dawn, unlike her crabby older sister, was happy to see Ashley. She hated that she only got to see her during holidays and special events.

"I never said we were?" Allison sighed. Ashley just **had** to make it hard for her. "Where's Aiden?"

Ashley shook her head negatively and walked into one of the living rooms. Dawn sighed at Allison, knowing that she just asked because she knew it would piss Ashley off. Allison couldn't care less about Aiden. Dawn followed Ashley, sitting across from her while Ashley sat herself next to Cash. Allison stood by the fireplace, sighing.

"Kyla is sleeping. I think Ambrose is with Dad and Mom is at the store with Aunt Carol," Cash said yawning. "They're going to cook tonight."

No one said anything, not surprisingly. No one really had an appetite.

"I'm home," Aiden walked into the living room, smiling like the idiot he was. After his plane ride, he went to a friend's to change. Now for no reason at all, he was wearing a suit; a tuxedo suit. He frowned amongst only seeing his siblings. "Where is Dad and Christine?"

Ashley made a disgusted face at him. She never knew why, but she always hated that he called her mother by her first name. Even though it wasn't typically disrespectful at all, she took it as a flag of disrespect. He just royally pissed her off. The least he could do was have some respect.

"What the fuck are you wearing?" Cash made a face at Aiden's outfit.

"We're going out to eat," Aiden answered smiling. He didn't run it past Raife yet, but he was sure that he'd say yes.

"No we aren't," Cash made a face. "Mom is cooking."

"So?" Aiden asked, now making a face. _Christine's cooking. Big deal._

To that, all of them made disgusted faces at their arrogant half brother. The nerve of him! Christine had been so welcoming to him, taking him in even though he was the daily reminder that her husband had an affair. How dare he be so disrespectful.

"She's going to prepare a meal for you, asshole. The least you could do was have some respect."

Aiden rolled his eyes. _Here we go again._ "Well, I'll ask Dad and if he says yes, we're going."

"Don't talk like you own us, Aiden," Cash shook his head at Aiden. _This fucker has to be joking._ "My- Our mother is going to cook tonight. I don't give a shit what my dad says. We are going to eat here, and we're going to eat what my mom cooks us."

"I'm not talking like I own you," Aiden lied. He even knew he was.

"Just shut up," Ashley butted in, hating when Aiden disrespected her mother. That was the one thing that set her off more than anything. "Look, my mom doesn't have to cook for you, but she is. You're not even her kid. In all honesty, you shouldn't even be here-"

"Why not, Ashley?" Aiden was just plain angry now. "If there's anyone that shouldn't be here, it's you."

"Two years ago, your name was Dennison," Ashley countered. "All you are if the result of my father forgetting to wear a condom before fucking a groupie."

Aiden rolled his eyes. "And what would you be? Last time I checked, you were ashamed to be a Davies. At least I wear the name loud and proud."

"Ha," of course Aiden was going to be the one to put that one on her. "Look, just because you share the same DNA with us now, does not mean you can go around acting like you own the place because you don't. Along with that, you're disrespecting my mother- our dad's wife. I don't give a fuck if you hate me or whatever, but you respect her. She took you in with open arms, and dealt with all the fucking bullshit that came with you. She didn't have to, but she did. So tonight, we're going to eat- in this house- a meal that my mother made. Plus, I'm sure that we- being Cash, Dawn, Allison and Ambrose would choose our mother over you any day. So shut the fuck up for once, and show some respect."

--

"Your brother is coming home soon," Paula Carlin stood in her kitchen, smiling on a beautiful Sunday morning. Her blue eyes were bright today, as they ate breakfast before they head over to church. Spencer looked up from her eggs, surprised. "Are you excited?"

"When?" Spencer started playing with her food again, she wasn't that hungry. All she wanted to do was talk to Ashley. Now that they were okay again, they were back to occasional texting and such. Spencer wouldn't admit it, but she was embarrassingly happy that Ashley had commented her picture yesterday.

"In two weeks," Paula beamed. She was so excited to have her boy come back, and not in a body bag. She hated that Spencer didn't seem at all excited, but she wasn't going to let that bring her down.

"Wow," Spencer sighed. She wasn't very close to her brother, but they were close enough for her to miss him. She scratched her blonde head and checked her phone, frowning once she saw that there was nothing new for her. "We should have a party for him or something."

"Oh no," Paula shook her head. She hated parties. "Maybe a dinner or something, he can invite his friends. No parties though."

Spencer made a face and bit her lip; she decided to go for it. "Could Ashley come?"

Paula's eyes went cold and she stopped mixing the pancake batter. She shook her head and kept going, not talking to her daughter throughout the rest of breakfast.

Spencer got her answer.

--

"Aiden, no," Raife Davies stood in front of his son. He had always felt bad for the kid, but tonight he couldn't do anything about it. "Christine is cooking, we can't go out."

"Whatever," Aiden said; he rolled his eyes and walked out. He wasn't even hungry anymore anyway.

Ashley stood in the doorway, having heard all of the father son interaction. It disgusted her, honestly. Aiden and Raife's relationship, that is. It pissed her off more than anything. She knew that Raife only treated Aiden better and tried to tend to his every need because he felt bad for not being there for his childhood. That was the reason why Raife showered the boy with money and fame, hoping to make up for the lost time. She hated that he was the reason why her father put the rest of his children on the back burner. Especially because Raife hadn't tried making up for anything in their life. He didn't even talk to them when he found out about Aiden, he was too busy showering Aiden. Had he not thought that maybe his other kids would need some comfort too?

"He's spoiled," Raife said sighing, he knew that Ashley had been standing there the whole time. He didn't mind, really. But he knew that it would only make Ashley hate her half brother even more.

"You're the one spoiling him," Ashley shook her head. "Of course he's going to get mad when he doesn't get his way. All he's been hearing is 'yes's from you, no shit he's going to be pissed when he hears a no."

Raife rolled his eyes. Ashley was just making it worse. He ignored her and went back to work. Ashley rolled her eyes too, not at all surprised at his behavior. She was used to it by now.

"Hey mom," She walked into the kitchen to find her and her Aunt Carol cooking. Well, more like arguing since they both didn't know how to cook.

Christine Davies smiled brightly at her daughter, excited to see her. Ashley wanted to frown at her mother, but she didn't because she knew it would hurt her dearly. Christine looked older than she really was, and so tired. She had bags under her eyes, but Ashley could tell that she had put make up on to try and cover it. She was looking smaller than usual too; thinner.

"Ashley," Christine stood on her tip toes and kissed her daughter on the cheek. She held her at arm's length and looked her over. Ashley was looking far too thin for her liking, but she took it as the sign as normal because Ashley was working now. Ashley smiled down at her mother, silently wanting to cry. She knew the past years had taken a toll on her mom, and it showed. All she wanted to do was hug her now, and apologize for all the time she spent away. "You look beautiful."

"You're beautiful mom," Ashley smiled, showing her teeth because she knew Christine loved it. Christine smiled. Even though she was never into favorites (especially with her own kids), she always favored Ashley. She knew that of all her kids, she knew that Ashley had the biggest heart and she loved her for it. She knew the reasons why Ashley tended to stay away from her family, and she didn't hate her for it. It just made her cherish the times she did have with Ashley.

"Dinners ready, darling."

--

Ashley sat with her head facing down, not really hungry at all. She knew her mom would make her eat anyway though, and she'd probably complain about her weight in the process. She just had a lot on her mind, really. From things going on with Spencer (she always tended to think of Spencer when she saw Aiden) to everything going on here, it gave her a bad headache. The feelings that came up when she saw her mom didn't help at all either. So didn't Aiden being an asshole.

"Well, dig in," Raife smiled and sat down. Ambrose being the typical 14 year old boy he is, looked bored as he sat to the right of his father. Christine and Raife sat at the heads of the table, while their children ate their meals silently. Everyone except Aiden, that is. Raife sighed. He knew that tonight wouldn't go well. "Aiden, eat please."

"I'm not hungry," Aiden answered, still bitter that they didn't go out to eat. Ashley and Cash's jaws locked. Again- pretty much being the same person- they both now just wanted to kick Aiden's ass. Ashley took the time to crack her neck, and tried her best not to look at her mom, afraid that if she saw a frown, she'd jump across the table and strangle the boy.

"Just eat it Aiden," Ashley said, her jaw locking as she took another bite of her roast. It tasted delicious, but she couldn't enjoy it with Aiden's voice in the room. It made her lose her appetite.

Aiden smirked. _Ah, the perfect opportunity. _"I'm hungry for Spencer."

"Ugh, that was so inappropriate," Kyla added before everyone dropped their silverware, everyone generally shocked at Aiden's words. Ashley looked like she was about to rip his head off though, so was Cash.

"What the fuck did you say?" Ashley asked, hoping that he'll say it again. It'll give her the okay to beat the crap out of him.

"You heard me," Aiden smirked, loving that he was getting Ashley so rounded up.

"I fucking dare you to say it again," Ashley's face went red with anger as Cash cracked his neck, knowing that soon he'll be having to pull Ashley off of Aiden… if he wasn't beating Aiden first, that is.

"I said that I'm hungry for Spencer, Ashley."

Ashley flew across the table.

Literally.


	11. Chapter 11

"Ashley!" Raife stood up and tried to pry his daughter (whom was getting quite a few punches in) off Aiden, who was too shocked to really do anything at the moment. Kyla also tried to get Ashley off, since she was the closest to her, but stopped once she got mashed potatoes in her eye. The other kids just stood up and got out of the way, each of them silently praising their sister. Everyone knew Aiden deserved it.

Even Christine got up to try to pull Ashley off, that is until her sister Carol grabbed her hand and shook her head, which made Christine frown. She knew what kind of boy Aiden was, he'd hit her baby back. She couldn't just let that happen.

"Get the fuck off of me!" Aiden yelled, purposely hitting Ashley across the face, slicing her lip open in the process. Ashley didn't seem fazed though, she just kept hitting him as much as she could until someone got in the way. They were now on the floor, Ashley on top of Aiden with Raife trying to pull her off of him. A knife had accidently cut into Ashley's abdomen- making it bleed profusely, but from the looks of it, Ashley couldn't even feel it.

Cash sighed from the sidelines. He was proud of Ashley, but knew that this was probably going to jumble her up emotionally. He knew pretty well what happened when Ashley had outbursts.

"Ashley!" Raife threw his daughter off of Aiden, whom grunted and wiped his bleeding lip. Ashley grunted as she landed on her injured side. Raife was fuming, literally. His appearance was proof- his face was red and his ears looked like they were going to fall off. Aiden just sat holding his bloody nose while Ashley sat breathing heavily. "You two need to learn how to get along, god dammit! Stop acting like you five years old!"

"Fuck you!" Aiden exclaimed, wiping the blood dripping down to his chin. His eyes were red and his left eye was swelling. Kyla had moved over to hold Ashley up, and inspect her sister's wounds. Dawn was simply too scared to move, while Christine was too close to tears. All she wanted was a nice holiday. "It's your crazy daughter that does this shit."

"Shut the fuck up Aiden," Cash moved behind his sister. "Stop acting like you're not starting this bullshit. You are and you know it."

"Just shut up, all of you!" Raife's face was even redder now. "You two need to put whatever happened between you two behind you and-"

"Fuck you Dad," Ashley's breaths were coming out hard. She decided to ignore her father's 'Are you fucking kidding me?' look and wiped her bleeding lip.

"Excuse me?" Raife couldn't even believe it.

"I said fuck you," Ashley sat up on her knees, holding her side. She tried to hold her breath as long as she could to try to ease the pain, though it didn't work much. Her head was pounding, her fists were bleeding, and her heart was on overdrive- emotionally and physically. "You've know all along what he did to me and you still take his side. You don't even apologize for him. You know exactly why I act the way I act, but you never take that into consideration or anything."

"No, it's because you're fucking crazy Ashley," Aiden huffed out.

"Shut up Aiden," Allison butted in, now rolling her eyes. Aiden really needed to learn how to shut the fuck up in her opinion.

"What Dad," Ashley wiped her lips. She would have preferred to spit, but she wasn't going to disrespect her mother's home like that. She looked her father in the eye. She knew she probably should be saying this, but she had to. She couldn't hold everything in anymore. "You think that just because some love child shows up, you think that you can just forget that you have five other kids?"

"Shut the fuck up Ashley!" Aiden stood up, about to jump her. Cash stepped in front of his little sister, ready to protect her from the douche bag in front of him. Ashley had come too far to be stopped now. He wasn't going to let someone like Aiden stop her.

Raife just stood staring at Ashley, somehow paralyzed over her words. Even though Ashley was always the one to call him out on his bullshit, this time was different. She just telling him everything he was afraid to hear.

Ashley rolled her eyes and stood up, ignoring the pain. Mrs. Davies let a tear slide down the side of her face at her daughter's bloody appearance. "Stop showering him. He doesn't deserve anything, and I hope he gets even less. Stop thinking about him for once and think about your other kids that haven't forgiven you yet. And maybe you should think of your wife sometime too."

--

Ashley sat on her bed in nothing but her bra and lounge pants she changed into. After she walked away, Cash had hosed her off in the back, ridding off all the food and blood that covered her body. Her Aunt Carol stood on her knees in front of her, stitching her up. It was like fate that the Davies had an aunt that was a nurse. Kyla sat with her, for moral support. That was their relationship, really. Not exactly close, but as close as can be. They never showed real affection or anything, but they knew when it really mattered- they would be there for each other; no questions asked. Almost like an unspoken bond.

Mrs. Davies thought that it would be too heartbreaking to watch her daughter get stitches so she waited for Ashley to come to her.

"You've need to calm down babes," Carol put the bandages over Ashley's fresh stitches. She hated having to do this every year. "You can't just hit him every time you get angry."

"Yes I can," Ashley looked down at Carol, whose eyebrow was now raised. "I've given him many chances, he deserved it."

Carol sighed; she knew that it was true. You could tell just by looking at the boy that he deserved the beating he got. She got up, rubbed Ashley's knee and headed out. Kyla frowned at her Aunt's departure. She expected her to stay longer. She watched as Ashley proceeded to put on a shirt.

"I'm leaving tonight," Ashley said, buttoning up her shirt. Kyla frowned again; Ashley's hands were bruised and her knuckles were covered and the bandage on her abdomen had blood stains.

"No you're not," Aiden walked into his half sister's room, rolling his eyes. He had expected Christine to turn this shithole of a room into an office or something. There was no reason to keep it as Ashley's bedroom. Kyla rolled her eyes. Aiden's normal blue eyes were red (especially the one with the black eye) and his lips were swollen. He also had a couple bruises all over his body. Plus, he looked pissed as hell. He just couldn't leave Ashley alone, could he? "We need to talk."

"Leave her alone Aiden," Kyla said as Ashley sat back on her bed. "Take a hint."

"Shut up Kyla," Aiden made a face at the younger girl. This had absolutely nothing to do with her for all he cared.

"Don't talk to her like that," Ashley's voice was calm as her head was buried between her hands. She was just over Aiden and the drama that came with him. She just wanted him to go away and stay away. He could die for all she cared.

Aiden just rolled his eyes. "Look, I know you have your shit with me and everything, but you shouldn't have said what you said back there. Or done anything of everything you did. Christine is crying and Dad's pissed. You happy with what you've done, Ashley?"

Ashley sighed at the news of her mother's state. She wasn't really listening until she heard Christine. "What I said needed to be heard."

"No it didn't."

"Yes it did Aiden," Ashley looked Aiden dead in the eye. "I may have caused all of this shit, but it needed to happen. What I said back there, it wasn't about you. Don't tell me what I can and cannot say. Stop thinking that everything is about you. What I said was about my- our, meaning my _real_ siblings- relationship with our father."

"It's not my fault that you have a shitty relationship with Dad," now Aiden was just getting irritated. How could Ashley blame that on him? Kyla just sat staring at both of them. This was the longest they have every talked… civilized, that is. "I still deserve respect."

"Maybe not, but a lot of other things are your fault," Ashley looked back up at Aiden. "And no, you don't deserve my respect."

"And why not?"

"You fucked up every important relationship that I've had!" Ashley tried to stand, but couldn't. The pain (and the situation) was too intense. "You took my dad away from me, from us- and from my mother. You turned Raife into an even bigger asshole than he already is. You're the reason why I can't trust Spencer anymore… You've just… don't nothing to deserve my respect."

Even though she didn't want to give him the pleasure of knowing that everything he did bothered her, she couldn't stop herself. She just needed to let it out for once.

"It's not my fault that Spencer-"

"Get out, Aiden. I hit you once and I'll do it again."

"Ashley-"

"No, you knew just how much she meant to me and you still did it. So fuck you and get the fuck out of my room."

The cold glare in Ashley eyes scared the crap out of him, so quietly (with his tail between his legs, of course) Aiden left, sighing in the process. He knew very well that Ashley would hit him again. She wasn't scared of him. Heck, she wasn't scared of anything.

Kyla sat up from behind Ashley and wrapped her arms around her shoulders- holding her from the side. Ashley flinched a bit; this was the closest they had gotten to hugging in years. She hadn't felt Kyla's arms around her for so long.

"I'm proud of you," Kyla said, pulling back. She patted Ashley on the back and hoped her words meant someone to her sister.

She didn't have to hope. Those words were just what Ashley needed to hear.

--

"Want some?" Jane asked as her and Nicole walked around the mall, both kind of bored and not knowing anything better to do. Nicole had called her and asked to hang out since she had nothing better to do, so Jane told her to meet her at the mall (where she always was now days). Jane's appearance surprised Nicole once she saw her; Jane was wearing shear wife beater over a very visible black bra with skinny black shorts that cut off at the knees. Nicole's appearance didn't surprise Jane though. She was wearing pretty much what she always wore; black skinny jeans, a white band tee shirt and a plain black button down over it. Plus, she was wearing a white DC hat with matching Vans. She was looking more Nicole than ever.

"No thanks," Nicole answered, pushing the water bottle back. She knew damn well that that wasn't water. "I promised Sarah I wouldn't drink today."

"You're so whipped it's sad," Jane rolled her eyes and took a sip of the 'water'. She groaned at the taste of pure vodka. They'd have to get some chasers soon.

"I am not." Nicole rolled her eyes.

"Whatever you say, Nicole."

"I just like Sarah happy."

"Barf."

--

"Hey mom," Ashley timidly walked into the kitchen, where her mom was pretending to be cleaning. Everything was already neat and tidy. Christine was just moving everything around. Christine turned toward her daughter with a blank expression on her face. Ashley didn't know how to take that. "I'm sorry about tonight."

Ashley made a face at her mother's lack of response. She was just plain staring at her. What was she supposed to do with that? She sighed and expected the worst.

"What did you do wrong tonight, Ashley?" Christine eyes her daughter in a way Ashley couldn't define. It was almost as if Christine was challenging her. She didn't look mad, angry, disappointed or anything. She just looked blank. It was almost frightening.

"I said all of that shi-stuff that I shouldn't have said," Ashley kept her eyes on her mom. She wasn't going to apologize for hitting Aiden; that was something she'd never be sorry for. Christine still didn't say anything for a minute or two, making Ashley worried. She'd rather have Christine yell at her than this. This was almost torture.

"Did you mean what you said tonight?" Christine put her hand on her hip as she leaned against the refrigerator. Her eyes were light again, but Ashley could tell she wouldn't be getting past them tonight. On top of it all, Ashley still didn't know how to answer that. All she wanted to do was tell her mother exactly what she wanted to hear, but she didn't know exactly what that was.

"Uhm," Ashley's eyes were on her mother as she debated her answer. She couldn't just lie to Christine's face like that. "Yes."

"Then why are you apologizing?" Christine moved around the kitchen again, stopping to look her daughter in the eye. "Ashley, don't apologize for the things you say that you mean. Those words are not words to apologize over."

Ashley debated over her mother's words in her head. As much as she hated it, her mind drifted to Spencer and everything that she had said to her.

"I'm not angry at you or at the least bit disappointed. I'm proud of you, Ashley. I mean that. Everything you said needed to be said, but we were just too scared to say it. So, thank you love."

Christine smiled at Ashley's expression after her little speech. Ashley almost looked like she wanted to cry. Those were the words she has wanted to hear for her entire life.

Ashley shook her head. "I don't like the way he treats you, Ma."

Christine sighed and got back to her kitchen duties, she knew that Ashley would bring this up sooner or later. She knew that Ashley wanted the best for her (which obviously wasn't Raife) and hated the husband that Raife represented. Christine didn't know how to deal with it. Raife hadn't brought it up, so she always figured that it wasn't worth mentioning.

Until tonight, that is.

Ashley, being a Mama's girl her entire life, knew her mom better than anyone. She knew just the kind of women she was, and the woman Christine pretended to be. She knew that her mother was the kind of woman that **needed** affection. During his touring days, every night that Raife was away, Christine would spend each night holding one of her babies. She needed to feel loved, and craved the feeling immensely when she didn't feel it. She could feel the moment when Raife quit the job of loving her, and fulfilling her needs. Once Aiden and the details of Raife's affair rolled along, everything just went downhill. The media didn't help at all either. She had her face plastered on magazines calling her depressed and suicidal. Deep down, she was, but she couldn't let her children know that. She needed to be strong.

"You can't just leave the person you love, Ashley."

Again, Ashley thought of Spencer.

--

"I'm worried about Ashley," Kyla and Johnny were now walking back to Johnny's house. They had just left Kyla's house (to drop of her things) and were now walking- much to Kyla's dislike- back to his place. Being the good supportive sister she is, she decided to leave with Ashley. Figuring that going home alone wouldn't do Ashley any good. She could tell Ashley appreciated it, half because she told her and half because she actually talked to her on the plane ride home. It was mostly about Kyla though, and just asking her how she was doing and such. It made Kyla sad, to be honest. "I don't think she'll be doing very well this week."

"Don't worry babe," Johnny kissed Kyla's hand. "She'll be fine."

"My dad didn't even say goodbye to her, Johnny."

Johnny didn't know what to say to that.

--

Ashley sighed, leaning her head back onto her leather couch. She got home to an empty house (she didn't know exactly if she was happy or sad about it, but she did find it quite depressing). She was tired, had a headache and all she wanted to do was sleep. Her body had been through too much this week for sure. She sighed and checked her messages; she opened one from Spencer;

_Would you like to hang out with me?_

Ashley sighed again, her headache worsening for reasons unknown. She hated the feelings that came up when she saw her family, but she was feeling even worse know that she had gone back to feeling Spencer all over again. It pissed her off more than anything. She cracked her stiffening neck and replied;

_No thanks._

She knew it was rude, and she'd probably regret it later, but she just didn't care about anything anymore.

--

"I don't understand why you don't just dump her," Jane and Nicole now sat across from each other, cross legged in the back roads of the mall. They were sitting on the floor, but neither seemed to mind much. Nicole had just been done ranting about her recent problems with Sarah, and Jane wasn't having any of it. "If you want to see your friends, you can see your friends. You're not a puppy, Nic."

Nicole sighed, not feeling better at all. She would have gone to Ashley about this, but she figured that she'd wait since Ashley had enough to deal with already. She had yet to tell Spencer.

"I love her," Nicole took a swig of her Coke. She eyed Jane's water bottle, obviously tempted. "You don't just throw that kind of stuff away."

"I thought you dated her just because she's cute," Jane fussed with the bandana that was wrapped around her blonde head. Even though she didn't exactly like Sarah, she still had eyes. Anyone could see that Sarah was obviously cute as fuck. "She's cute, I'll give her that."

Nicole smiled- now feeling much better- and leaned against the brick wall in back of her. Now she felt proud. Even Jane thought her girlfriend was cute. "My my, does Janey here have a crush on my Sarah?"

Jane- whom didn't really care about human anatomy- rolled her blue eyes. She had a crush on her face, not her. The difference was obvious. "Your girlfriend has a nice face, but has a little girl's body. Woww, what a turn on."

Nicole made a face and rolled her eyes. She knew a ton of people that were in line to be Sarah's next-best-thing.

"Sarah has a nice body," Spencer walked up the two sitting girls, only hearing what the unidentified blonde had to say. She couldn't recognize the blonde, but she definitely looked familiar. She thought it was because Jane had pulled off the real badass look- especially with the new bandana in her hair. She took a seat next to Nicole and took a sip of her coke.

Jane bit a lip at her new guest. "Oh yeah? Rating?"

"California 10," Spencer shrugged, not really finding it that big of a deal. She was just pointing out the obvious. If you saw Sarah in a bikini, you'd think she was how too. Nicole agreed 100%. They missed Jane's not-so-innocent eyes trail up and down Spencer's body. "Any alcohol here?"

Jane's eyebrow immediately rose. Spencer didn't look like the drinking type. Heck, the girl was wearing Hollister! She handed Spencer her water bottle. "My kind of girl."

Spencer smirked. For the first time, Spencer swooned over someone that wasn't Ashley.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: This chapter is a short, so I'm sorry. But leave me love yeah?**

**--**

Ashley bit her lip as she stared at Spencer from afar. _Her_ blonde looked very engaged into the conversation with another blonde that Ashley knew all about.

Jane Newkirk- seventeen years old and a senior at King High (which she was on the verge of dropping out of). Ashley knew her through Nicole, who knew her from being in 'the wrong kind of crowd.' Jane definitely looking like the type of girl to be in that group though, with the purple streaks in her short hair and the pounds of eyeliner she applied daily. Her attitude helped her status a lot too. The last Ashley heard about the girl was about her getting arrested for grand theft auto. She obviously fit right in.

They were standing a bit too close in Ashley's opinion.

"I didn't think you'd come," Spencer shouted over the music. Jane smirked. She hated clubs really, but she was starting to like Spencer. Therefore, if a club was where Spencer is at, a club is where Jane will be. She wasn't really having fun though, but seeing Spencer would up her chances in the end.

"I said I would, didn't I?" Jane smirked. She knew that Spencer would be soon falling under her spell. It was only bound to happen. "But anyways, I have to go."

"What, why?" Spencer frowned. She had just gotten used to enjoying Jane's company. Jane smiled, now happy. Spencer was actually sad to see her go. "You just got here."

"Yeah," Jane looked down. "I just gotta do some things with some people."

"Ha," Spencer rolled her eyes at Jane's bluntness. Of course she'd pick up another sarcastic one. Ah, she hated her taste in bad girls. "Whatever then, will you call me?"

Jane debated it over in her head. She had never been the one to call before, she was always the one getting calls. "No."

Again, Spencer rolled her eyes. "Well, I'm not going to contact you, so you have to at least text me or something."

_Now that I can do._ Jane smiled. "Will do, Spencer."

She smiled at the other blonde, kissed her cheek and walked back through the sea of people.

"Hey," Ashley slipped into the space where Jane had just been standing. Her hands were shoved in her pockets, and she looked obviously nervous to Spencer. Her eyes were darker, Spencer noticed, and she didn't fail to notice Ashley's bruised and bandaged hands and her busted lip. "How are-"

"What happened to you?" Spencer was surprised at her concerned tone. Her intentions were to sound rude, just to make Ashley chase her for once. She didn't really want to sound rude, but she still wasn't over being rejected the other night. Even Ashley was surprised at Spencer's tone.

"Uhm," Ashley rubbed her hand over the back of her neck, something she always did when she was nervous. Spencer, of course, didn't miss it. "I got into a fight."

"Oh, Spencer didn't exactly know what to say. _Same old Ashley I guess._ "Are you okay?"

"Uhm," Ashley looked around. "Yes."

Spencer nodded, she was honestly glad but she wasn't going to admit it anytime soon.

Ashley sighed and tried to get Spencer to look at her without touching her. She knew that if she felt Spencer's skin on hers, she'd end up not wanting to let go. She couldn't let that happen- not tonight, that is.

Spencer though, stood her ground and continued to ignore Ashley.

"Hello," Anna Molly approached the frowning girls. She had been watching them for while now and rolled her eyes when Spencer stopped talking. So being the good friend that she is, she went up to them and decided to see Ashley's ass. She turned toward (whom she thought was) Spencer. "I don't think we've met. I'm Anna Molly."

"Oh," Spencer rushed to shake the red head's hand before her, wondering who she was. She debated over her being Ashley's new girlfriend or something, but shook her head to block it out. She knew better than anyone that Ashley didn't have a type. "Hi, I'm Spencer."

"I know," Anna Molly smiled at Spencer. She turned toward Ashley and gave her a _So this is the girl_ kind of look. She wasn't exactly what she expected, really. In all honesty, she expected a girl that looked a bit more… edgy. Heck, she first expected Jane to be Spencer from behind. "I've heard a lot about you."

Spencer made a face. She didn't really know what to say to that.

"Yeahhh," Anna Molly frowned at Spencer's silence. She expected her to be a bit friendlier. Since you know, Ashley tended to like the good girls. "Well uh, May I talk to you?"

Ashley looked down at Anna, not knowing what to do. She couldn't just leave Spencer now.

Anna Molly made a face. "It'll just be a second."

She smiled at Spencer and stole Ashley. She rolled her eyes and threw her friend into their private VIP booth. "What's wrong with you?"

Now it was Ashley's turn to roll her eyes as she stood up. "What're you talking about?"

"Why is she mad at you then?"

"I didn't do anything," Ashley made a face. What? She didn't.

"Ashley."

"Anna."

"Ashley!"

"Anna!"

"I swear to God Ashley," Anna Molly threatened. Ashley smirked. She had never heard such a threatening voice come out of Anna Molly before. "What did you do?"

"I told her no when she asked me to hang out," Ashley shrugged. She didn't think it was that big of a deal. I mean, she said thanks and all…

"Why'd you say no?" Anna Molly wrapped her arms around her chest.

"I was upset and didn't feel very good," Ashley looked down. Anna frowned though, feeling bad for her friend. Ashley had told her all about New York. She would have been pretty rude too.

Anna Molly just sighed. She didn't know what to say anymore.

--

Spencer sighed- she knew that coming tonight would have been a bad idea. She pulled out her cell phone.

"Jane? Yeah, it's Spencer. Can I hang out with you tonight?"

--

"Hello Nicole," Aiden, who's eye had finally gone down in swelling and lip was now healing, walked up to Nicole at the bar. Nicole couldn't even stop the eye roll that took place. He leaned his body against the bad and faced the brunette. "Haven't seen you in awhile."

Nicole rolled her eyes again and clenched her teeth. Ashley had told her all about NYC and couldn't be happier with kicking his ass. The smirk on his face wasn't helping his anger either, she knew all about his little crush on her- which confused the hell out of her considering that Nicole looked like… well, a boy.

"What, you not going to talk to me now?" Aiden smirked.

Nicole continued to ignore him.

"You mad at me or something?"

"Shut up Aiden," Nicole cursed the bartender for ignoring this whole side of the bar. "When you take up the occupation of ruining my best friends life, you should expect no contact."

"Ha," Aiden smiled. "I've never done anything to Ashley."

"Bullshit!" Now Nicole was just getting pissed. "Get away from me before I deck your face in too."

Aiden rolled his eyes while Nicole turned around- probably looking for Sarah. Knowing the Nicole wasn't the most attentive person in the world, he pulled out his little blue pouch and sprinkled some of the white powder into Nicole's drinks. Smiling, he did just what Nicole asked.

Turning around at Aiden's departure, Nicole downed her drinks.


	13. Chapter 13

Nicole swayed as she started to feel it. She couldn't remember taking anything, or even drinking for that matter, but she was definitely feeling something. It scared her, honestly. It wasn't like anything she had ever felt before- ever felt before. She had felt it all; oxy, xanax, cocaine, ecstasy, weed, everything. Anything you could think of, really. Of course it felt good. Not every single time but it definitely didn't felt bad at all.

Tonight, she was definitely feeling bad.

Everything had gone blurry and she couldn't keep her feet straight; she could barely feel her legs. They felt like jelly. She could tell she would definitely be falling down soon. The lack of oxygen in the room wasn't helping her situation much either. Her hair was damp with sweat- more of it wasn't even hers= and it seemed like her lungs couldn't expand any wider. She didn't understand it all. She had never had anxiety, or problems with crowds before. Heck, she was always the one in the mosh pit during shows. Only now she couldn't breathe?

It didn't make any sense.

"Nicole," Sarah traced her hands along her girlfriend's collarbones, knowing she liked it. They were at the bar, right where Sarah found her. She couldn't help but feel concerned though; Nicole was sweating profusely, pale, and her chest was raising and falling faster than normal. "You okay?"

Nicole shook her head. Her body was hot. Too hot. Not in a good way either. That only made Sarah even more worried. Nicole never admitted to feeling sick. She could even recall a time when Nicole claimed she was fine, while puking her guts out.

"Okay," Sarah tried to keep Nicole's head up. She knew her girlfriend needed oxygen. "Let's get out of here. What's wrong, love?"

"I need," Nicole coughed, "To use the bathroom."

Sarah lifted Nicole's arm so she could be tucked safely underneath. She started to maneuver herself so she could drag Nicole toward the bathroom.

"What happened?" Anna Molly approached the couple, her eyes widening at Nicole's appearance. Sarah frowned and motioned for her to help her.

"We need to call Ashley," Sarah coughed. "Nicole, baby. You're going to be okay."

--

It seemed to take forever for Nicole to get to the bathroom. But every second seemed even longer once they got there.

"Nicole!" Sarah did her best to hold her girlfriend once Nicole's legs gave out on her. Anna Molly locked the door behind her and went to get a cold towel for Nicole. Sarah sat her girlfriend near the toilet. She was glad the club had a single bathroom, even though they would probably be dealing with some angry people later. Nicole sat with her back against the wall, head leaned back, breathing heavily and ghostly white.

"Come on babe," Sarah tugged Nicole's jacket off. Nicole didn't fight her (or encourage her either) and just let Sarah more her body to give it some air. Before she knew it, Sarah was taking off Nicole's shirt; leaving her in her black wife beater. It felt better, but not good enough. Anna Molly went up and placed the wet towels on Nicole's chest and forehead.

Sarah ran her hands through Nicole's damp hair. Anna Molly frowned at her friend; the brunette almost looked on the verge of tears. "Did you take anything?"

Nicole shook her head once. All she could comprehend was 'drink much' and the feeling of her stomach being on fire. She could hardly see, the room was much too bright for her, but the extra oxygen and less layers of clothing were nice.

Now Sarah was just plain worried. She hadn't witnessed Nicole drink or take anything earlier. Nicole's chest had taken to rapidly going up and down, almost as if she had just gone through a run. It confused her since Nicole didn't look like she was breathing very much.

"Nicole," Ashley shut the (previously locked) door behind her, ignoring all of the whiny protests. She fell to her knees and slid over to her best friend. She cupped her face worriedly once she saw her. "What the fuck happened to you, Chambers?"

"We don't know," Anna Molly answered. She was getting worried now, she had never seen Ashley look so scared.

"Get me a cup of water," Ashley ran her arms down Nicole's- looking for reactions or possible injuries. Anna Molly handed her the cup, and frowned when Ashley shoved it into Nicole's mouth. Nicole coughed, turned her head and emptied her stomach into the toilet next to her. Sarah pulled her short hair back, while Ashley just say there, not really knowing what to do now.

Once Nicole was finished, she went back to her previous position. She would have wiped her mouth, but she couldn't feel her arms. It was okay though, Sarah did it for her.

"I can't," Nicole coughed. "Feel my body."

She felt a little better- with an empty stomach and all- but her body was still on fire. She couldn't even feel anything anymore.

"You have to drink this okay?" Ashley lifted the cup of water again. Sarah frowned; she didn't like the concern in her voice. When Ashley Davies was worried, you know you have something to worry about. "Please Nicki, you need to drink this."

As much as she wanted to sound stern, Ashley really couldn't. Nicole was her sweet spot. Her best friend. She couldn't lose her- not now.

Nicole smiled lazily at that. Ashley hadn't called her Nicki in so long. "Okay, Ashybear."

Ashley gently eased the cup up against Nicole's lips, letting the liquid fall down Nicole's throat. She pulled back once the cup was empty and sighed when Nicole started coughing. She felt a little relieved though, now knowing that Nicole couldn't die of dehydration or anything. She looked into Nicole's eyes and cupped her sweaty face desperately again," Your fucking pupils."

"Nic, did you take anything?" Anna Molly asked, now sitting next to Sarah, who looked on the verge of tears. "Please tell me you're not over dosing…"

Nicole shook her head lazily. She could feel it… numb. It almost felt nice. She just felt like talking now. But she couldn't remember how, "Eye Dee Kay."

"What?" Ashley's eyes ran over Nicole's body. She would have to do some serious ass kicking if Nicole was over dosing. "Talk to us, Nicki."

Nicole smiled again. She loved when Ashley called her Nicky. That used to be her nickname for her. She loved it so much, even though she always told Ashley she hated it. "Here's wut duh fuck happen, alright? I saw Ashien, and then I look around then I drank my drinks. That is all."

Ashley's face went solemn as realization hit. She looked over Nicole again; sweaty, pale and drugged Nicole. She was trying to memorize her, but she didn't want to. It made her sick. Her breathing picked up as she stood on one knee.

"I love you Nicki," Ashley kissed Nicole's forehead and turned toward Sarah. She hated having to do this. She shoved her keys into the smaller girl's hands. "Take her home. Take my car. I'm going to cal security to come get you guys out of her. I'll meet you back at Nicole's okay?"

"Ashley, what're you-"Anna Molly paused when Ashley just stood up and walked out.

Neither of them wanted to know.

--

"Get the fuck off of me!" Aiden screeched once Ashley pushed him into the wall. They were now in a private room of the club, where Aiden had never been in before. No one else was in there, and he was starting to get scared. He watched as Ashley locked the door behind her. "What the fuck are you doing, Ashley?"

Ashley paced in front of him, silently telling herself not to hit him. It was incredibly tempting though, with his ugly stupid face right there in front of her. It took everything in her not to bash his brains in.

"I could have you arrested," Ashley paced in front of him. She needed to calm down. "You fucking bastard."

"Hah," Aiden rolled his eyes. _I guess she figured it out._ "And what's that going to do for you, Ashley?"

"Make me fucking happy for one," Ashley stood, now calm. She could finally get Nicole- and Spencer- out of her head. "Put me out of my fucking misery."

"Ha," Aiden laughed sarcastically. "No, it wouldn't. I'm not stupid Ashley."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Now it was getting really hard not to bash his head in.

"I'm talking about you," Aiden smirked and took a step closer. "Putting me in jail won't get you anywhere. Plus, what proof do you have?"

"You fucking drugged my best friend in an open and over capasitized club," Ashley made a disgusted face. She didn't really know is capasitized was a word, but at the moment, she didn't really care. "Of course you're going to have fucking witnesses. Hah, you think I need witnesses to put you in jail?"

Aiden rolled his eyes. Ashley was really full of it sometimes. "Still not going to get you anywhere, Ashley."

"And why is that?"

"Because you hate my guts for more than that," Aiden took a step closer, making him face to face with his half sister. "What Ash, you think that putting me in the slammer is going to bring you out of this? You think that putting me in jail would make the _pain~_ go away? Hah. You're one stupid girl, you know."

"Fuck you," Ashley shook her head.

"You know it's true," Aiden smirked. "Putting me away isn't going to take what Spencer did back. It's not going to give you your oh-so-happy fucking family back. Not going to bring your dad back and sure as hell won't bring Spencer back."

Aiden kept on at Ashley's loss of words. "You can't deal with me because you just can't deal with yourself. Because I fucking know you Ashley, and you're one of those little fuckers that actually has a good heart. And you'd forgive Spencer in a second, right? And you have. I've heard you're talking to her again so you have. It's not going to make anything better. Hah, I know that if she really had tried, you would have taken her back in a second. If she really proved to you that she was in love with you, and that she was sorry, you would have taken her in again, wouldn't you? But you know what? She didn't. For the sole reason of not fucking wanting to. She doesn't want you, Ashley. Get over it."

Ashley shook her head and walked out. She couldn't handle this anymore.

Spencer would always be hers.

Right?

--

"She's sleeping," Sarah walked into the living room. Ashley sat on the couch, half laying half sitting. She sat, staring at nothing and just thinking. Aiden's words were on replay, and it was only now where Ashley could bare it. Her first thought after leaving the club was to go drown herself in illegal narcotics and die. Her second thought was to go get lost in _someone_. And her third thought was to jump off the nearest bridge. So she had chosen all of the above.

Ashley just had to check on Nicole first.

Sarah sat next to her. She knew that Ashley was in Ashley world, and she wasn't going to bother her. She liked the silence between them too, it was never awkward surprisingly. She needed some thinking time as well.

"What're you thinking?" Ashley's eyes were still casted downwards. She just needed to hear someone else's voice other than Aiden's.

"I've never gotten so close to losing Nicole," Sarah confessed. Her eyes had been tearing all night. She looked down. Now, all she felt was the urge to go upstairs and hold the girl.

"You two have broken up a few times."

"Not the same," Sarah sighed. "Every time, I know we are going to get back together. And even if we didn't, I'd still… need her. Care about whether she lived or died. We're still together, as a couple or not."

"You guys are just that kind of couple," Ashley felt her head sink down. She felt a little better now. But she still felt depressed. "You two will always end up together in the end."

"Sounds like another couple I know," Sarah tried her best to smile down at Ashley, whom appreciated the effort. "What's going on with you and Spencer?"

Ashley shrugged. If only she knew. "Last time I heard, she's moving on."

"Bullshit," Sarah shook her head.

"How? She's with her right now, Sarah."

"That doesn't mean anything," Sarah made a face. "What, so if she's with Nicole tomorrow you think she'll be moving on?"

Ashley rolled her eyes. "Shut up."

"What're you going to do about it?" Sarah asked. Ashley sighed and leaned further into the couch. She was in desperate need of alcohol right now. Especially to be having these kinds of conversations.

"Nothing," Ashley shrugged. "What is there to do? She won't wait for me forever."

"Then why are you wasting your time making her wait?"

"Because we're supposed to end up together in the end, right? Well, maybe Spencer forgot."

Ashley didn't want to believe herself.

But being Ashley, she did anyway.


	14. Chapter 14

When little Nicole Chambers turned 10, her and little Ashley Davies made a pact to always dedicate one day of every week to 'bonding time.' Whether it be going to a movie, talking, or talking through webcam, they would always have some sort of connection every week. Even now, about 8 years later, they still hadn't broken this pact. A great achievement, in Nicole's opinion.

Since Nicole was feeling much better, she decided to take Ashley and Anna Molly out to lunch (no Sarah since she had to go shopping with her sister). She was definitely looking better too- she looked like herself again. She had cut her hair, making it touch the end of her neck, with the bangs swept across the left side of her face. She wore a plain gray button down with black skinny jeans. On top of it all, she re-pierced her lip.

"Sorry I'm late," Anna Molly kissed both of her friend's cheeks and sat down. Nicole and Ashley just kept looking over their menus, both glad that Anna was now there. Nicole and Ashley always invited Anna Molly to their 'bonding time'. This time especially; they both had plenty to talk about. "Sophia was crying when I left."

"You could have brought her," Ashley smiled at the thought of Sophia.

"It's Peter's day," Anna Molly made a face.

"No wonder she was crying," Ashley said while Anna Molly rolled her eyes. Nicole smirked; she hated Peter just as much as Ashley did. She closed her menu once the waitress showed up.

"Ready to order?" the waitress asked the table, her eyes only on Nicole. Anna and Ashley both rolled their eyes, smiling at each other.

"I'll have the garden salad with a coke please," Anna Molly smiled fakely. Her order was simple, but she knew that the waitress would mess it up. Her eyes were still locked on Nicole. She didn't even write it down.

"Uhm," Ashley couldn't help but chuckle. "I'll have the turkey on rye. No pickles."

"Anything for you?" the waitress put her hand on Nicole's shoulder, which scared the hell out of her. Being the oblivious Nicole she is, Nicole hadn't even noticed the waitress even showed up. "I recommend the pasta."

Nicole looked up at the waitress and smiled politely, to which Ashley rolled her eyes at. _Good thing Sarah's not here I guess._ "Okay. I'll have the marinara. Thank you."

"Would you like anything to drink with that? The tea is good," the waitress smiled at Nicole, who was oblivious to her obvious flirting.

"Uh sure," Nicole scratched her hand and handed her new fan the menus. "I'll have the black peach tea then."

"Coming right up."

Ashley and Anna both rolled their eyes as the waitress walked away. She didn't even write any of their orders down.

"Well it's a good thing Sarah's not here I guess," Anna smirked as she took a sip of her water. Nicole made a face.

"Why?"

"You can honestly say you didn't notice the waitress flirting with you?" Anna looked across the table at her friend, who had a weird look on her face. "I'm afraid to see how you act when you're drunk and with your coyote friends."

To that, Nicole rolled her eyes. "No, because she wasn't. Besides, I would never cheat on Sarah."

"Of course not," Ashley leaned back in her chair. She'd kick Nicole's ass if she ever cheated on Sarah. She put her hands behind her neck. "We all know that Sarah Edmund is meant to be Sarah Chambers."

Nicole smiled; she liked the sound of that. "Kind of like how Spencer Carlin is meant to be Spencer Davies."

Ashley rolled her eyes. As much as she hated to admit it, she knew that too, sadly.

"Are you ever going to tell us the full story?" Anna asked, smiling as the waitress served them their drinks.

"You guys know the full story." Ashley made a face as the waitress handed her a coke. She didn't order a coke.

"No we don't," Nicole took a sip of her tea and grimed. _This shit is not worth five bucks._ "Spill, Davies."

Ashley sighed. "You guys know me."

Nicole shrugged. "Not really anymore. The Ashley we know wouldn't treat Spencer the way you do. Excluding Anna considering she hasn't met Spencer yet."

"I only treat her like that so she'll leave me alone," Ashley sighed. That statement just made her feel like an asshole.

"You can't be serious, right?" Nicole rolled her eyes.

"No no no, not in a bad away," Ashley moved the drinks as the waitress set their food in front of them. _She must have good memory._ "She's better when she leaves me alone."

"You can't believe that, Can you?" Nicole's eyebrow was now raised as she played with her pasta.

Ashley shrugged. "That's what she told me."

Nicole sighed. "You know she didn't mean it, Ashley."

Ashley took a bite of her sandwich and grimed. _The bitch put pickles in it!_ "Why am I not surprised she got my order wrong?"

"Ashley."

Ashley sighed. "Isn't it true though? I mean her and her family are fine without me in the picture and all. That's what she wanted."

"She wanted you and her family," Nicole took a bit of her garlic bread. "She just freaked out when she couldn't have both. She didn't know what to do."

"So sleeping with my jackhole of a brother is the answer?" Ashley's tone was surprisingly calm. As if it was an actually question she wanted answered.

"She was on drugs-"

"How does that make it better?" Ashley sighed. She was tired of having the conversation being turned on her over and over again. She was hurting just as much, if not more, as Spencer was. "Once Spencer and I started dating, I stopped everything. I gave it up when she asked me to."

Nicole looked down. She knew that being Ashley's best friend and all- she was supposed to be taking Ashley's side. But she just couldn't help rooting for Spencer. She knew- or thought at least- that Ashley had already given up on her and Spencer's relationship. How could she take Ashley's side when she knew that her and Spencer were meant to be together?

Ashley frowned, she could pretty much read Nicole's mind by now. "Look, I love Spencer okay? And I probably always will… But in my own little way, I guess I'm just trying to give her what she wanted. Every day that she was living with me, she told me about how much she missed her family and such, and I just want her to have that. For at least a little while. I want her to be happy and I want things for her to be okay again. I'm not going to mess that up. I love Spencer, I really do. But in my own way, and I know this sounds half way insane, I just right now, love her a bit too much. I'm just trying to protect her."

Anna Molly and Nicole both just stared at Ashley, neither knowing what to say. Neither had ever heard Ashley be so… open. It was honestly refreshing.

"And I know that maybe it's possible that we could get back together and find a way to work it out, but it wouldn't. Not right now, at least. I've forgiven her, but that's where it ends, really. I can't be with Spencer with that shit in the back of my mind. I know if we were to get back together right now, I'd just treat her like absolute shit and push her away and I cannot- I will not do that to her."

"Why?" the nosy waitress, who had been standing there the whole time listening to, Ashley asked, completely won over.

Ashley just shrugged in her Ashley fashion. "Like I said, I love her too much."


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: This chapter was cut in half because I'm tired and I haven't been getting much reviews so I don't really know if anyone's still reading. So, if you are, please review :P it's the only way I know anyone is reading, and inspires me to write more.**

**Enjoy.**

Spencer sighed. As oblivious as she knew she was, it was obvious to even her that 'grumpy' was the worst look on her. Her replies were so… depressing. All she could bring herself to reply with were conversation Enders. She hated it really, especially the fact that the person receiving those convo enders was Ashley. It wasn't really her fault though, she blamed Paula for her bad mood.

"_Spencer, what are you doing to do today?" Paula stood in front of the counter, peeling the skin off on an orange for her daughter. As if it was routine, Spencer rolled her eyes (she seemed to be doing that a lot lately). She didn't want to though, since Spencer hated being rude more than anything. She couldn't figure out why she was acting out; maybe it was because she was coming to terms with herself. Maybe she was just tired of hiding who she really was. She did know that she was tired of pretending, and just wanted to feel accepted already._

"_Actually," Spencer peeped up. "I have a date."_

"_Ah," Paula gulped. "With that Aiden boy, I'm guessing?"_

_Arthur rolled his eyes. Unlike his wife, he had no problem with his daughter's sexuality. He even knew it before Spencer did. He kind of figured it out early on, when his little girl would always tell him about how beautiful all the other little girls in school were._

"_No Mom," Spencer rolled her eyes. "I have a date with a girl named Jane."_

_Paula dropped the orange. _

"_Spencer," Paula looked straight into her daughter's eyes. "You know I'm not supportive of that lifestyle. You're not gay Spencer; you're too young to know."_

"_Age isn't a factor in love Mom," Spencer rammed her fork into her plate, making her mother jump in the process. "I know who I love."_

"_Oh really? Is it this Jane girl or that god-awful Ashley girl, hm?" Paula rolled her eyes. "This Jane girl, you've probably only known her for 2 days. You really think you can love someone with only 2 days of knowing them? And Ashley? Well, I'm just glad that you came to your senses about her."_

_Spencer slumped, defeated. She knew that bringing this up couldn't have ended well. "I loved Ashley."_

"_Hah," Paula rolled her eyes again. "Obviously not if you're back with us. Honey, you know what love is yet. We're your family, Spencer, and I'm your mother. We- I know what's best for you."_

_Spencer sighed as Paula walked out of the kitchen. Her mother didn't change where she stood. She still knew she loves, and that that person is Ashley. Ashley had to love her too; she's seen the way Ashley looks at her. Has seen the way Ashley would do anything for her. Has seen the way Ashley would talk about her; like she was the only thing in the whole world. Like she was the center of Ashley's world. Paula couldn't have understood what that was like. Spencer still firmly believed that her mother was the one that didn't know what love was._

"_So," Arthur set his coffee mug down, a frown on his face. "I'm guessing that it didn't work out between you and Ashley?"_

_All Spencer could do was roll her eyes._

"Hey," Ashley, now at the Carlin's front door held her hands behind her back, looking like she was on the run from the cops or something. Spencer made a face, obviously confused. She hadn't expected to ever see Ashley at her door step again, not after what happened the last time, and after her frequent conversation enders.

Spencer stepped forward and closed the door behind her.

Ashley frowned at that. The only reason she even went over was because she was passing and saw Paula leaving. In her mind, Spencer didn't have anything to hide now.

"I'm sorry," Spencer crossed her arms in front of her chest. "It's just, the neighbors…"

Ashley nodded, now pretty much used to it. They had already spent a year of their relationship in secret. She didn't know she had to do it again though; excluding the relationship part. "No, I just wanted to see if you were okay. Your replies were a little… worrying."

Spencer bit her lip, looking down now feeling 10x worse. For many other reasons now. She couldn't help but feel happy though, happy to still have Ashley in a way that she would even bother worrying about her. She felt special, knowing that Ashley would still come through with proving herself to her. She felt bad though, that she didn't really like the feeling of knowing that Ashley still cared about her. If it were two weeks ago, she would have been ecstatic at the news, but now she just felt… tired.

Spencer shrugged. "I don't know, just a bit down today."

"Oh," Ashley scratched her head. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Spencer shook her head. The last thing she wanted to do was talk to Ashley about her mom _and her date with Jane._ "Not right now."

Ashley sighed. She should have seen it coming; Spencer pushing her away. Spencer stopped letting her in a long time ago.

"Hold on," Ashley made sure that Spencer wouldn't more before jogging back to her car. Spencer made a face, confused as Ashley went to the passenger side to get something. She didn't mean to seem rude, it was just her mood. Her mood and the confusion that came with the new feelings she had upon seeing Ashley again.

"Um," Ashley, now in front of Spencer again, stood with her hands behind her back. "I uh… I know you like chicken nuggets."

With that, Ashley shoved the package into Spencer's hands and started walking back to her car. Spencer just made another face, now confused beyond belief. She had never seen Ashley be so… weird before.

Spencer sighed as Ashley drove away, staring out at the car until it was clearly out of sight. She looked down at what Ashley gave her, her mood and face lightened once she saw. She hadn't had one in ages.

A happy meal.


	16. Chapter 16

"How's Spencer?" Summer, laying flat on her back, twirled the vodka bottle around in the air, eyes fixed on the lights. They had been like this for about an hour now; they being Summer and Ashley. They were lying on Ashley's bedroom floor, both a bit buzzed by now.

Ashley blew out her cigarette smoke. "She doesn't want me anymore, Sum."

Summer rolled her eyes. Ashley would never learn. "Ashley, that's not true. You know that."

"Everyone else does," Ashley exhaled. "Not me."

"Look," Summer sat up, now on her belly with her hands supporting her head. She faced Ashley. "I know Spencer can be a real big bitch sometimes, but she loves you."

"You hate Spencer."

"Doesn't make me blind," Summer took another sip of her vodka, now starting to feel the wooziness coming on. Ashley rolled her eyes as Summer changed positions, now laying on her side with her hand supporting her head, facing Ashley, eyes staring down into hers.

"Obviously," Ashley winked and burnt her cigarette out. Sighing, she ran her fingers along her ex's neck line, secretly remembering all the times she used to do it to Spencer. Spencer always told her that it always gave her tingles, making it the absolute favorite place for Ashley to touch.

On anyone, really.

Summer rolled her eyes, leaned down and kissed her ex lightly. It was never a big deal for them, having had many kisses during and after their relationship. It did however, become a big deal when Summer deepened it, fully getting on top of Ashley and kissing her with more urge as Ashley sat up and cupped her face, not letting her go anywhere.

--

"Spencer," Allison (Ashley's assistant) answered Ashley's front door, figuring that Ashley was a bit too busy to do it herself. She made a face once she saw Spencer on the other side. "I didn't have Ashley set up for an appointment with you, did she forget or something?"

"No," Spencer stepped into the house, looking for where Ashley may be. Being Spencer Carlin, she had showed up to Ashley's place unannounced. Only this time, it was to apologize. She had realized a while ago how much of a bitch she was, and desperately felt the need to apologize (and maybe even cry) to Ashley. But again, being Spencer, she felt like Ashley deserved it face to face.

"Oh," Allison sighed and started walking away. "She's in her room."

Spencer nodded, making her way upstairs. She didn't really know what to expect. Hell, she didn't even know is Ashley was mad at her or now. What she did **not** expect though, was to see Summer, straddling a very willing Ashley with their tongues down each other's throats.

She did not expect the nausea that came about either. Or the tears.

She sniffled as she made her way out again, breathing heavily (and not in the good way either) and shaking her head madly. Of course, she had pictured Ashley kissing other girls (Spencer got jealous **very** easily and a lot of girls hit on Ashley while they were together) but it was way different actually seeing it with her own eyes. Especially kissing someone that she's been jealous of since the moment they met. Again, she loved Ashley- she really fucking loved her, but this was just… different now. She had already tried to convince herself that she was indeed, over her and try to move on with Jane now.

After seeing this though, everything seemed a bit messy.

--

Jane sighed, sitting in her chair, just sitting. She hadn't planned anything today- figuring that she'd dedicate it to… thinking. She definitely did have a lot to think about though, now with Spencer in her life.

The other blonde was the new- as gay as it sounds- apple of her fucking eye. For the first time, it felt… a bit more than nice to have someone around a lot. And they did spend **a lot** of time together. She couldn't figure out Spencer's deal though, considering that Spencer Carlin was the queen of mixed signals. They had been on a few dates, sure. But that didn't really mean anything important. On the dates, they were themselves, they was no awkwardness about any of it. No nervousness, no fake politeness to impress, no begging to pay for the check. None of that. It was just them. Jane and Spencer, having dinner.

And Jane loved it.

She still didn't really know where they exactly stood. They dated- they were dating- and they had made out a few times, but they hadn't talked about labels at all. For all she knew, Spencer could be out dating other girls.

However, her train of thought was broken when Spencer busted into her shed, walking friskily over to her, and kissed her with what seemed to be, everything she had.

"Spencer," Jane muttered before cupping Spencer's face and kissing her again. After awhile, she pulled back, still holding Spencer's face and looked at her. She looked a bit like she had been crying, but she ignored it, figuring that she hadn't. "What are we doing?"

"Uhm," Spencer smiled fakely and brushed some hair away from Jane's face. "Kissing?"

"No," Jane shook her head. "As in us."

Spencer smiled. The topic had come right on time, really. She couldn't just sit around and feel the hurt that came with Ashley. "Do you want me?"

Jane chuckled. "Of course I do."

Spencer shrugged. "Then be my girlfriend."

Jane made a face. "It's that simple?"

"Of course." Spencer smiled and kissed Jane again, desperately trying to get the image of Summer and Ashley out of her head.

Now if only getting over your ex was that simple.

--

"So, what other kids do you have to mentor?" Sue, currently cleaning Ashley's lenses, leaned against Ashley's bar as Ashley set up her equipment for their 'lesson.' Amongst their various sessions, they rarely did anything photography related. The duo just seemed like friends, really. On one occasion, they had even gone out to have lunch when Sue was supposed to be 'sporting her talent'. Ashley didn't really cared for Sue 'assisting' her; Ashley already had an assistant she didn't need, she didn't need another one. She didn't care though; she just signed Sue's paper. "And don't even try to give me that whole 'its confidential bullshit'."

"Ha," Ashley rolled her eyes. She couldn't care less about 'confidential bullshit'. "Spencer and some other kid names Charles."

Sue smirked. "Observation! Spencer, gay or straight?"

"Oh my god," Ashley rolled her eyes. _Spencer is obviously gay_. "I don't make those kinds of observations when I meet my 'student's, you know."

"You're no fun," Sue rolled her eyes. "Anyways, I heard she got a new girlfriend."

Ashley tensed. "Spencer?"

"Yep, going out with some chick named Jane. Seems like a bitch to me though," Sue sighed and decided to ignore the way Ashley kinked her neck.

"Oh," Ashley looked down. She wasn't in the mood to take pictures anymore. "She can definitely do better then."

"Wait," Sue sat up. "You're not Spencer's Ashley are you?"

Ashley couldn't even stop the sarcastic chuckle. "No, no I'm not."

She couldn't have Sue telling their teacher that the student and the mentor dated before. That'd rule her as being bias and he would probably give Spencer and F.

Besides, it was obvious that Spencer wasn't Ashley's anymore anyways.

Ashley shook her head and started walking toward the front door.

She was going to get answers, straight from Spencer herself.


	17. Chapter 17

She had no idea. No idea what to fucking do.

Honestly, what do you say when the love of your life finds someone else? What in the hell are you supposed to do? Being Ashley though, she didn't think before she took action.

So there she was, once again, at Spencer Carlin's front door.

"Ashley," Clay answered the door with a confused look on his face. He hadn't seen Ashley in ages. And from the last he had seen, Spencer was pretty upset. "What're you doing here?"

"I need to see Spencer," Ashley tried to push past Clay, but he held his ground surprisingly.

"Leave it Ash," he shook his head. "She doesn't want to see you."

Ashley shook her head, officially fed up. "Look, I don't fucking care-"

She pushed past him and ran up the stairs, faster than Clay could even comprehend. He just sighed and rolled his eyes, happy that his parents weren't in yet. He rolled his eyes again once he heard Spencer's door slam.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Ashley slammed the door behind her. Spencer, who was sitting in her computer chair reading, jumped and swirled around, an annoyed look on her face.

"Jesus Ashley keep you voice down!" Clay yelled from downstairs.

Both girls just rolled their eyes, staring each other down as the first awkward silence fell over them. It wasn't awkward necessarily, it was just… tension filled. If there's a difference. Neither of them, bring the stubborn girls they are, knew how or even wanted to break it for that matter.

Spencer threw her book on the ground, still staring up at Ashley. "What did you want, Ashley?"

"I want you to just stop what you're doing alright?" Ashley crossed her arms around her chest. "You know, fucking around with my head. I'm so sick and tired of it, Spencer."

"You started it."

"How the fuck did I-"Ashley shook her head again. "You know what, I don't care. I don't fucking care anymore, alright?"

Spencer shrugged. She could hear, and see right through Ashley. Instead of feeling guilty though, Spencer just got more pissed off. Here, she had cried for 3 months straight over what she had done to Ashley. She knew very well that it was _what she had done_ and not the other way around, but she was still crying over Ashley. And after everything, Ashley could just barge back in and be angry at her? To her, being angry and hurt were two complete different things. And in this scenario, Spencer (unfortunately) was the hurt one.

"Fine," Spencer deadpanned. "Why don't you go over to Summer and give her one? Oh wait, another one?"

"Oh just give it a fucking rest Spencer," Ashley shook her head in disgust. She couldn't remember Spencer ever being so stubborn. It just made her even more frustrated. "It's you and me, alright? You know that. And you're just being stubborn."

"I'm not the one fucking my ex's," Spencer rolled her eyes. This would seriously be a never ending battle for them. She could just feel it.

"I'm not the one moving on, am I?" Ashley took a step forward, opening her arms as if she was offended. "I'm not the one with the girlfriend."

"Summer, Ashley. Summerrr."

"I don't love Summer," Ashley stepped even closer. "I've never loved Summer, I love you but-"

"Look who's home Sissy!" Glen, clad in his military uniform busted into Spencer's room, arms open for his excited little sister to run into. He didn't get such thing though, of course. He opened his eyes to find a teary eyed Spencer and a red faced Ashley. "Ah, my two favorite girls in the same room again, I see?"

"Glen," Ashley unwrapped her arms around herself. She didn't even know Glen was coming home. She didn't even have time to react when Glen pulled them both into a bear hug, forcing them to be pressed against each other (and not in the good way either). She pulled out of the hug immediately. "You're home."

"Well of course I am Ashley," Glen smirked and let a shocked Spencer go. "Nice to see my best friend is so happy to see me. My little sister as well."

"No uh," Ashley shook her head. "We're happy to see you, we're just-"

Ah," Glen stopped her and walked back to Spencer's door. "No worries. I know when I'm not wanted. But Ash, I'm gonna have a dinner here, you in?"

"Glen, your mom-"

"Tell me you'll come."

Ashley sighed. "I'll be here."

Glen walked out of the room, grinned placed right where it belonged, leaving the girls in another tension filled silence. Spencer was sitting down again, looking in to her lap while Ashley just stood there, desperately needing Spencer to for once, say something first.

Ah, the troubles of two stubborn girls in love.

All Ashley could do was shake her head. Spencer would never own up to anything.

"What, Ashley?"

Ashley shook her head and bit her lip. _Now or never._ "I'm tired of you always acting as if I owe you something. I don't."

Spencer bit her lip again, now trying to keep the tears in again. She knew she was wrong- knew that she should just wrap Ashley up in her arms again and murmur apologies against her lips.

But this was the real world.

"I love you," Ashley shook her head, finding everything nothing short of ironic. Here she was, in Spencer Carlin's room again, and she was the one saying the I love yous? "That's the problem."


	18. Chapter 18

**AN: I'm tired of spelling out Anna Molly's whole name, so I'm just going to type Anna from now on, hah. Thank you for all the feedback~**

**--**

Awkward would have been an understatement. A **big **understatement.

Do you know what it's like to be in a house that A) your (now taken) ex girlfriend is in B) the parents of that ex whom hate your guts also are in and C) your ex's new girlfriend hasn't even left yet? Believe Ashley- you don't want to know.

"What're you stressin about?" Nicole smirked at Ashley, whom was nursing her cigarette way more than she was supposed to. Ashley had been like this for about an hour now; smoking way more than usual, whipping out her flask on occasion, and even stuttering. **Stuttering.** "It's not like Paula is going to poison you or anything."

Ashley paled. _Oh fuck._

Nicole rolled her eyes. "Ashley, nothing bad is gonna happen."

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do."

"No you don't."

"Yes I do!"

"Oh yeah? Well show proof then because-"

"Stop it," Anna, holding a very happy Sophia, smiled at her bickering friends. The best friends both raised their eyebrows at her appearance. Anna wore a beautiful black dress, with silky pink flowers coming up along the right side. No one had really bothered to dress up for the occasion, but Anna just looked… stunning. Being a mom and everything made her really into that whole get together thing. "Put your cigarettes out please, Sophia doesn't appreciate them."

The duo immediately did so, while baby Sophia shook her tiny head smiling.

"I'm really starting to think that Spencer just isn't right for you," Anna looked back into the house, where Jane and Spencer stood talking. She sighed. "She doesn't deserve you."

Ashley frowned, now regretting putting out her cigarette. She shrugged, having not found anything to say to that.

Sure, Spencer didn't deserve her, but that didn't mean Spencer couldn't have her.

_Didn't have her._

_--_

"Family dinner I'm guessing?" Jane scratched her blonde head as she looked around the dining room, where Clay was setting everything up. She had never been in Spencer's house before, but from the looks of everything, she didn't really know if she wanted to be there either. Something about the Carlin household and Spencer's girlfriends…

"Yeah uhm," Spencer scratched her head, saying a silent prayer that Ashley wouldn't walk in. "My brother just came home from Iraq, and he invited all his friends…"

"Jane!" Nicole screamed once she walked in, Sarah (who just rolled her eyes) on her arm. Sarah let go of her girlfriend's arm and let her go her thing- which seemed to be hugging the living hell out of Jane at the moment. She sighed and turned to Ashley, whom had her hands shoved deeply into her pockets and was just staring at the ground. She frowned, knowing how awkward this must be for her, and slipped her arm with hers, smiling up at her- letting her know she understood.

Anna _and_ Sophia rolled their eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Nicole asked, pulling away. She knew all about Spencer and Jane's little relationship (she hated it, being the all time Spashley supporter) but she didn't think they were as serious for Spencer to invite Jane over for the family dinner, especially with Paula being all homophobic and all.

"Visiting her," Jane smiled. She looked down at Spencer, whom now was just staring at the floor, and wrapped her arm around her shoulders.

"Are you staying for dinner?" Nicole smiled, now only thinking in the moment. The fact that a dinner between ex's and the currents would be a tad bit awkward hadn't even crossed her mind. Ashley just rolled her eyes from afar.

Jane shrugged. In all honesty, that was the last thing she wanted to do. But is Spencer wanted her to… "I don't know. Am I, Spence?"

"Uhhh," Spencer stared dumbly up at her girlfriend. _Awkward._

Summer _glided_ into the household, smiling brightly at everything. Having been one of Glen's favorite lesbians, of course she was invited to the dinner. She, still smiling, walked right up to Spencer. She had heard all about what Spencer had said- or rather _didn't say-_ and she seriously needed a talk with the blonde. In her opinion, Spencer had no right to be upset. For multiple reasons actually; A) Ashley was single, therefore she could kiss/make out with/ sleep with/ fuck/ whathefuckever whoever she wanted B) Spencer knew all about her and Ashley's relationship, therefore she knew how they were always flirtatious, and their kisses always ended at that. Nothing more. Plus, Ashley wasn't the one getting a girlfriend.

But Sarah beat her to it.

Except, being the great friend that she is, she just wanted to save her. Not kill her.

"Hey Spencer," Sarah smiled, Ashley now right with her, in front of Spencer, still on her arm. Sarah looked around the room, smirking. Ashley Davies, Spencer Carlin, Jane Terry, Summer Hilton and Paula Carlin all in the same room? "This is going to be fun, yeah?"

Spencer just rolled her eyes, now annoyed that Summer was in her house.

"Wow, Ashley Davies," Jane smirked sarcastically. "I was wondering when I'd get to meet the ex formally."

Ashley rolled her eyes. She hated blondes sometimes. "Hello Jane."

Summer, fed up with Spencer (even though she didn't really do anything to her) stepped forward, sliding her arm through Ashley's free one. "Hello Spencer, it's nice to see you again."

Spencer made a face, knowing very well that Summer was just trying to get a rise out of her. She rolled her eyes and grabbed Jane's arm, "Let's go, Jane."

She pushed past Ashley harder than necessary, which made just about everyone roll their eyes, and led Jane out the front door.

Glen clapped his hands as he entered the room. "Well that went well." He glanced around the room. "Ah, all my favorite lesbians under my mother's roof. This is gonna be fun."

--

"Well," Jane turned around, now facing Spencer and shoved her hands into her pockets. "I'm guessing you don't want me to stay."

Spencer couldn't say anything.

"Whatever Spencer," Jane rolled her eyes, turned on her heel, and left. Spencer sighed, crossing her arms across her chest. _This is way too much to deal with right now._

"That?" Ashley, who had been watching ever since Spencer left, walked toward her ex, praying that Spencer would turn around and face her without her having to ask her to.

Her prayers were answered.

"What, Ashley?" Spencer turned around, not even trying to hold back her tears anymore. She knew that Ashley would stop talking among seeing her cry- she always did.

No such luck today though.

"That?" Ashley repeated, pointing off to where Jane was still walking away. "You would rather be with that than me?"

Spencer rolled her eyes, a tear falling freely now. She didn't even bother to wipe it. Ashley could do so if she wanted to. "Do I have a choice?"

"Yes you do," Ashley laughed sarcastically, shaking her head. It was odd, being caught in this situation time and time again. She was getting tired of it. "You do have a choice. Everything is a fucking choice."

--

**AN: Cut in half again because I have yet to write a dinner scene. Sorry guys. Any ideas?**

**Leave me love, yeah?**


	19. Chapter 19

Again, for what seems like the 35th time in one hour, awkward would be an understatement.

Of course, everyone knew exactly what they were getting into, but they all thought that it would at least be a bit pushed over when the time actually came. But in all honesty, how could it _not_ be awkward?

What's the fun in that?

Paula and Arthur sat at the heads of the table. On the side of Arthur sat Nicole, whom sat across from Anna (Sophia was sleeping in the living room). Sarah, of course, sat next to Nicole while Ashley sat across from her. On the side of Paula sat Clay, whom sat next to Spencer and Glen, whom sat next to Summer. Kyla and Johnny sat across from each other in the middle of the table.

Paula seemed to like she couldn't stand the tension most though, having lived in this house for years now. It seemed ridiculous that she feel awkward _in her own house._ Nothing was worth the feeling, in her opinion.

"So," Paula sipped her water and turned toward Anna, whom was silently eating her roast beef. "Anna, it's very nice of you to come, even though you had to babysit."

"Oh," Anna looked up at Paula, surprised she was even acknowledging her. Having been one of Glen's ex girlfriends, she had met Paula a few times, actually. She knew that Paula adored her. "I'm not babysitting, Mrs. Carlin."

"Hm?" Paula was just confused now. "Then who's that baby you brought with you? I just assumed that she was your sister, considering that she looks just like you. Your cousin, perhaps?"

"No," Anna shook her head politely, smiling. "She's my daughter, Sophia."

Paula's eyebrows raised. Anna never seemed like the type to have premarital sex. She was a good, nice Christian girl last time she checked. "Oh, daughter... I see. I thought you were Christian."

Anna nodded. "I am."

"Then..."

Anna sighed. This was how her church reacted. Of course, they made her keep the baby (even though she hadn't even thought of giving it up in the first place) and no one looked at her the same again. "I am Christian, Mrs. Carlin. I just don't... agree with everything that is said in the bible."

Ashley and Nicole, whom grabbed Sarah's hand underneath the table, smiled.

"Like what?"

"Well," Anna gulped. "Like premarital sex, haha. I just... don't see the point, really. And obviously, the whole 'God hates gays' thing. I just... couldn't imagine my God hating someone for something they can't change."

Paula's eyes narrowed. She didn't like Anna anymore. "Well then what is your opinion?"

Anna lowered her head, hating to have to do this. "Well, I wouldn't want my God to hate my daughter if she likes girls. I'd be completely fine with it. It's not like she's killing anyone, you know? It's nothing bad-"

"It's a sin, Anna," Paula smiled. "It's in the bible."

Anna nodded, "But this is people, we're talking about, Mrs. Carlin. I'm not going to single someone out just because of their sexual orientation. To me, it's just like being either right handed or left handed. It doesn't make a difference to me."

"Anna," Paula smiled, again. "God wrote it. He thinks it's an abomination. He casts them straight to hell."

Ashley sighed, which cut Paula's last straw apparently.

"Oh, did you have something to say, Ashley?" Paula turned toward her.

Ashley sighed again. "No, Mrs. Carlin. I think it's nice to hear and have your own opinion and everything, but you're offending pretty much everyone on this table."

Paula smiled sarcastically. "I think that's just you, Ashley."

Ashley was about to say something, but Anna cut her off, "What I'm trying to say is... you didn't ask to love Mr. Carlin, did you? No one really asks to love someone. They just do. It's as simple as that. And I'm sure that Ashley never asked to love Spencer, and Spencer never asked to love Ash-"

"My daughter is not participating in any homosexual activities, Anna Molly."

Ashley almost laughed. "Mrs. Carlin, I understand that you have your bible and your beliefs, and I understand that you have a certain set of rules to live by, but don't you want your daughter to be happy?"

"Oh, and you think that a woman could make her happy?" Now Paula almost laughed. "You think that you could make her happy, Ashley?"

Ashley nodded immediately, "Yes, I could. If she'd let me."

Spencer bowed her head.

"And how would you do this?" Paula put her shoulder on the table, and her hand under her chin. She definitely wanted to hear this. "What could you possibly do that would make her happy?"

Ashley shrugged. She'd do anything for Spencer. "There's nothing that I can't do that a man can. It doesn't matter if it's carrying 304 sand bangs up a mountain in two hours, I'm sure that I can do it. And if Spencer wanted me to do it, then I would. Hands down. I'd, I'd take care of her, I'd buy her flowers just because, I'd cook her dinner every night, I'd make sure she has 10 hours of sleep every night, I'd make sure she has her servings of fruits and vegetables. I'd do anything. If a man can do it, then so can I."

Paula smirked, "Well, now that we've got that settled, Spencer, would you want Ashley to do that for you, or would you prefer a nice boy to do so?"

Spencer's jaw dropped. First, you make her listen to her ex (whom she is still in love with) confess her love for her-again- then you ask her questions? Too much for 10 minutes. It didn't help that her and Ashley were just staring at each other as well. "I..."

"Come on Spencer," Paula jerked her head toward Ashley. "We don't want to keep Ashley waiting now."

"I..." Spencer bowed her head. _This would be so much easier if I didn't have a girlfriend. _"I uh, I wou-"

"I'm pregnant!" Kyla just about screamed.

All heads turned.

Ashley shook her head and stood up, "Excuse me."

This was way too much for one night.

xxxxx

Summer sighed, her back on the Carlins' garage, while she smoked her cigarette. She rarely smoked, but she found this time appropriate. She was just waiting for Ashley to collect herself so they could go home. She rolled her eyes once she saw Spencer walk out, her arms cradling herself, obviously looking for Ashley. "I highly doubt she wants to see you right now, Spencer."

Spencer rolled her eyes and turned toward Summer. "You would know."

"Yes actually," Summer sat up, now offended. Spencer was the last person who should be mad right now. "I would, considering that you're not the one that has to listen to that just about every day."

"Don't lie."

"Now, why would I do that?" Summer shook her head. "She loves you, you know that. Fuck's sake, she just bluntly said that to you, straight to your face and you still don't do anything? What else does she have to do, Spencer? God."

Rolling her eyes, Summer walked away- now leaving Spencer with her thoughts.

xxxxxx

How are you supposed to know that you're destined to be with someone? Is it like the movies, where you just... know? Or does it take time? Is it an obstacle that takes fucking years to get over? Are other people supposed to get in the way? Of course, Spencer knows that it's not supposed to always be rainbows and butterflies, even though she'd definitely like it to be. Granted, she's young, so she doesn't exactly know everything yet, and of course, she's scared as can be. But does that give her a reason for her behavior? Hm.

Maybe she's meant to be with Ashley.

"Spencer?" There's a knock on her window. It's Jane. "Let me in, okay? I'm sorry I'm an asshole. Let me in and I'll make it up to you."

Maybe not.


	20. Final Chapter

**AN: I was originally going to hold this out a bit longer, just to branch out the other storylines and create a bigger rising action, but nahh. I decided not to. So I'm sorry if this seems a bit rushed, but I literally cut out like… 4 extra chapters (The original ones that were supposed to come before this one). So this is the final chapter of I Swear This Time I Mean it. **

**All in all, I hated what I did to this fic. But oh well. **

**The title I Swear This Time I Mean It is a Mayday Parade song.**

**Thank you for all the feedback, and to those who followed this fic and reviewed and such. It really helps, guys. It means a lot.**

**Enjoy~**

**Xxxxxxx**

Glen is walking toward me now, which doesn't surprise me one bit considering he always seems to catch me at my worst moments. It flows through Carlin blood I think; catching people at their worst, that is. Not loving though, Carlins don't love when they see the people that they love at their worst.

Could you even consider that love?

"I broke up with Jane." I'm kneeling down on the curb of our driveway, watching Jane drive away. Glen is standing next to me with his hands in his pockets. He sighed.

"You're stupid, Spencer."

_I could have told you that._

"Yeah, I know," I look down, just because I'm in a shitty mood and that's what people in shitty moods do. "Hey, you're my brother; you're supposed to be on my side."

He shrugged. "I'm on the right side."

I made a face. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He shook his head disappointedly at me. After all these years of being his sister, I have never seen him look at me like that. "Grow up, Spencer."

"What?"

"Look I understand that you're young and all, but it doesn't give you a reason to be so dumb," he rolled his eyes. "She loves you. I know she hurt yo-"

"None of you all get it, do you?" I crossed my arms and I didn't even bother to wipe the tear that slid down my cheek. "This is Ashley we're talking about, Glen."

"An-"

"Ashley- the girl that I love, but can't properly do so. And through a certain name that I conviently have, I can't," I shook my head, hating the irony of the situation. "And of course, I love her more than anything in this whole fricken universe, but I'm just too scared to admit it. I'm not going to even mention the fact that I've already managed to fuck everything up for myself by now."

"Spen-"

"You know that, right?" I wiped my eyes. "That I really do love her. That I just don't know how to show it."

"I thi-"

"She's everything, did you know that?" I licked my dry lips. "She waited for me, you know? Before I even knew I was gay. She just sat with me and told me that she'd be there when I was ready for her. And believe me, I really was and it was good, it was really good. In the beginning, she was all that mattered in the entire world for me. It was just… magical. It was great. Then everything started to fall apart at home, and I couldn't handle it. She could, of course 'cause she's like… Wonder Woman or something, but I'm a flippin coward. I couldn't handle everything so I fucked it all up. She took care of me, you know. She took me in with no questions asked. She just… cared for me, even when I had shut down. It didn't matter that I couldn't love her then. To her, it just mattered that she could love me. And she did, she really did."

Glen sat down next to me. "Then why do you treat her like you don't care?"

"So she'll leave me alone."

He made a face. "You just told me you love her, Spencer."

"I do, and I'm ready to now," I looked down. "Well, at least I think I am. But… don't you get it, Glen? She's perfect. Literally, you know. She's just so… phenomenal. What am I going to do when she leaves me? She's the amazing one. She's the one that has people drooling. She's the one that has the world at her feet, and she could have anyone she wants, Glen."

Glen nodded. "Yeah, but she wants you, Spencer."

She loves me.

I know.

And so will she.

Xxxxxxxxxx

"Nicole, I already told you. I'm fuhhh," Ashley dropped the apple she was eating once she saw me on the other side of her door. She's wearing nothing but sweats and a black wife beater. Her eyebrows immediately rise. "You're the last perso-"

I kissed her.

It's an odd feeling that's the best feeling in this whole world. I don't know if that's just me, though. But her lips were always warm every time I kissed her when we were dating. And she always tasted like mint and cigarettes, and occasionally whatever she was drinking at the time. The perfect combination for me, really. But this time, she tasted like cigarettes and whiskey. And her lips were cold.

She pulled away from me. "What're you-"

"I love you," I put her hands on her neck so I could turn it to look me in the eye. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you."

Her lips parted.

"I'm sorry," I sighed. "I'm sorry for every single day I spent away from you. I'm sorry for ever doubting that we really did belong together. I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry for everything that I've ever done to you, Ashley. I really do fucking love you, Ashley. I love you, I love you, I love you. And I'll… I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make this up to you. I'll be the one cooking you dinner. I'll be the one making sure you eat your vegetables and fruits. I'll be the one taking care of you. Just… let me."

She licked her lips and just stared into my eyes for a while.

"Ashley," I looked deep into her eyes. "I fucking love you. I swear this time I mean it."

She looked down for a second and leaned against the door frame. She kept eyeing me weirdly, but I kept hold of her right hand. She smiled. "Okay."

I made a face. "Okay?"

She sat back up and smiled, running her hands along my body. She nodded, looking down at me, still smiling. "Okay."

"Forever it is, then?"

She nodded, smiling. I missed her smile. "I've been waiting so long for you, Spence. I'm not letting you go again."

And I'm not going to let her.

She kissed me again, and this time, her lips were warm.

Just how they belong. Warm and on mine.

**The end.**

**I thought this ending would give you a better understanding of all that is Spencer.**

**I'm thinking of writing a sequel. It'll focus on Spashley being happy~ rather than apart D:**

**Yay or nay?**


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